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Hangman's Noose
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 08:16:29 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Hangman's Noose
Fixation on a stagnant life, decaying and engulfed by flies.
Undertaken by endless strife, a tangible and disturbing sight.
Free flowing life, now shut off and draped in darkness.
Self inflicted, driven mad and desperate, living heartless.
Feet dangle above the ground, stricken by the noose wrapped around.
Settled high above without working lungs, pale faced, dismal and hung.
Saturated in pain, life lived and died, but still forgotten.
Uneased by tears, now essence dead and rotten.
Sickening stench of death, plaguing each and every breath.
Embodied by a deep and dark torment, now eased, looking the part of an ominous ornament.
Empty souls, trapped in a world of infinite pain
Tired and ill fated, ongoing struggle, only to remain
. . .
Vacant eyes stare torwards the east, twilight shadows the perils deceased.
Sunrise brightens the one-tree field, Unmasking the broken man, now healed
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-07-04 20:16:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 08:24:39 PM AEST
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| =] i loved the last stanza. a different type rhyme scheme for you, but all fine and well. i still think you should read the short story i minchined. ich liebte es. =]] |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by BloodyTearDrops on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:08:25 PM AEST
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Clark,
I feel lucky te be able to read your work first. But yea as always great work. Keep it up kk?
.:Chelsey:. |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by BloodyTearDrops on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:08:25 PM AEST
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Clark,
I feel lucky te be able to read your work first. But yea as always great work. Keep it up kk?
.:Chelsey:. |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:10:26 PM AEST
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Well Clark, you already know how much I love this!! You did a fantastic job, with some very clever wording in this write...So very detailed!!
Excellent job and I love the title!
Scorp. |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:22:06 PM AEST
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wahoo, well done...thats an excellent write clark.
The title really drew me in...I couldnt wait to read it!!!
The word imagery you've utilised is amazing...and i could almost smell and taste the stench of death.
Chilling, but great. XXXXX |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:50:08 PM AEST
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| Great imagry in this! I could see everything in my head. wonderful write! |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 11:15:19 PM AEST
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Wow made me want to go hang myself just to see if it was as good as the poem lol
Only kidding but that was the best way i could put it. Your writing has touched me once again buddy great job |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 12:35:57 AM AEST
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Clark this is absolutely stunning. I love the imagery u cast into the readers head. 'Tis as if u can smell the stench of a dead man.
Another remarkable write to add to ur other brillant work. I truly enjoyed reading this chilling, thought provoking write. Well done.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 02:35:41 AM AEST
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Cool poem Clark. I agree with Jen, this is a new writing pattern that's really working off for you.
I like it so keep them comming.
Jane xxx |
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Re: Hangman's Noose
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 10:15:13 AM AEST
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WoW! Clark this is deffienately one of my favorites from you! This was outstanding! I really like the rhyme scheme here I felt like the poem's purpose was more to show a story and you needed more room to to do that so giving yourself room to write and then summing it up with two rhyming lines after it was a wonderful idea and the ending was EXCELLENT! ofcourse it was though, you wrote it.
Besides the ending I really liked this line:
'Free flowing life, now shut off and draped in darkness.'
It may just be the word draped but it really got me in to a serious mood and set the tone of this piece.
Phenominal job!
.amanda. |
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