|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
I CAN'T SIR
Contributed by
boobiepeach
on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 04:13:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
I cant be your rock sir
I know you dont count
Rock has softened
And rolled away
I cant be your strength sir
You ask in a subtle
The muscle is flat
It shrank away
I cant be you white sir
Look with wide eyes
Grey shadows turn black
My light has dimmed
I cant be clear water sir
Swim to me not
Murky liquid has pored in
Mud to thick to chew
I cant be your warm sir
Fold your own arms
I can feel you chill
My cold has your name
I cant be you high sir
Look up at my smile
Wondered how low
Eye to eye we are not
I cant be your eyes sir
Watch you own hands
Blinded by love
Sees no way out
I cant be your color sir
But lips hate me not
All shades and hues are dull
With no canvas of muse
I cant be your life sir
For your nothing told me so
Dead words and actions
Buried your love alive
Copyright ©
boobiepeach
... [
2005-07-06 16:13:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: I CAN'T SIR
(User Rating: 1 )
by ducki on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 06:37:38 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Absolutly, wonderfully awesome. Brought tears to my eyes. |
|
|
Re: I CAN'T SIR
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 10:22:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Nice concept Peach...I like this a lot. My only complaint, the grammar was a bit off in some spots...but a very enjoyable read nonetheless.
I really liked the third and last stanzas.
Scorp. |
|
|
Re: I CAN'T SIR
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 02:15:06 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
good writing indeed
varity is the spice of "Life"
I try to do the same mix it up
with all diff. sytles of poems
|
|
|
Re: I CAN'T SIR
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 10:27:13 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very creative style, a bit difficult to read at first as I am unfamiliar with this type format....better the 2nd time through. It appears, to me, to address an overly dependent male in a relationship, just my take.
Bravo, for your willingness to experiment, peach
Well done
Will |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
