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What I love
Contributed by
Doriens_Picture
on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 01:59:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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Eyes
Beautiful, brilliant
Healing, resonating, alluring
Possessing all that makes heaven
Paradise
Her eyes have I all want
How they make me feel
I would love to wake up in the morning
And look into them
And fall into another dream
How I love to dream about her
It helps so much when we are apart
She will always be a part of me
And I love that about us
But that is not all I love about her
And not everything is physical
She really is my heart
With out her I could not live
With out her in my life
I would not want to
I know they say it is better to have
Loved and lost than never to have love
At all, but why must love be lost
I hope it never is
It is just far too much to lose
And I do not have to lose anything
To know what I have with her
That is why I will always cherish her
She will always be everything to me
I love everything about her
Her charms are many
But simple
I love the way she laughs
I love the way she says awe
When ever I do something sweet or cute
And sometimes both
I love that she loves me how she loves me
With all her heart and soul
Just like how I love her
Our love is very playful and happy
Even in the hardest times
We are both so very silly
I love how she sings
Mostly how she sings for me
She has the most beautiful voice
Voice
Angelic, Calming
Healing, Falling, Floating
Possessing all that makes heaven
Home
Copyright ©
Doriens_Picture
... [
2005-07-12 01:59:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What I love
(User Rating: 1 )
by SinginSilence on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 02:08:27 AM AEST
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| I'm gonna get the criticism out of the way fast: ever heard of end line punctuation? Maybe that was what you were going for though, I don't mean to be rude here. I do love this poem however. I kind of wish I couldn't relate at all. It reminds me of Donne's Valediction:Forbidding Mourning with your ideas of always having that person apart of you, even when you're not physically together. Ah, Donne gotta love it. I also thought beginning and ending with the cinquains was a perfect touch. Good poem. |
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Re: What I love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 02:10:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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trust
stong, dependable,
loyal, worthy, believeable,
something that i will never take for granted
beautiful write, muaw |
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Re: What I love
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 03:37:00 AM AEST
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To heck with tecnacalitys. This had me so mezmerized from 1st word to the last. Good theraphy u got going here.
If u r depressed I can't wait till u get in a good mood.
Very moving masterpeice as u created heaven on Earth with the passion in this powerfull write.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: What I love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 12:44:38 AM AEST
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"With out her I could not live"...(without is 'one' word)
(you followed with this: ) "With out her in my life" ..
"With out" is repetitive with the grammatically incorrect above it....
"Loved and lost than never to have love
At all"... should be:
..Loved and lost than never to have loved ..(past tense..) at all ...is correct.
And second to last line...heaven should be capitalized...ALWAYS!! Heaven..
Sorry 'bout that...I'm on a tear with the defecation of the art!
"Your POETRY Dot Com"
Look the word up-
M.O.H.
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Re: What I love
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 01:02:51 AM AEST
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I think you mean the beginning and end is a cinquain. What did you do, other than upset Ben Papa to rile all his buddies? I would think you should be more careful with your spelling and poetic rules or face the rather of the poet munchers. This site is becoming totally ridiculous.
smiles,
Rita |
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Re: What I love
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 01:50:21 AM AEST
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Im not a poetry professor so there is nothing I will cut down with your work I like the way you let things flow just like its coming straight from your mind onto your paper love that free flowing type of style nicely done and I love the serene romance in your pieces
Michelle |
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