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If It Never Came Back
Contributed by
liquidsunshine
on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 10:37:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
On a cold cloudy day she sat at the shore
When along came some travellers three
There she sat with a turtledove locked in a cage
Whom she sang to quite delicately
Til she flung out the door and the bird flew away
And quite shocked were the travellers three
When she looked to the skies and proclaimed with stone eyes that she'd wait at the edge of the sea
On a cold cloudy day many weeks had gone by
So, returned had the travellers three
They asked of the dove that had flown long ago
That bleak day when they watched the bird flee
It was all she could do to explain with her tears
To the curious travellers three
Although mostly she cried, she so softly replied that she'd built a small house near the sea
On a cold cloudy day several years had passed on
Since she first met the travellers three
But before they could ask she shook her small head
In regards to the dove's long journey
She returned to her house to her window to stare
At the line where the sky meets the trees
And until the dove coos one can vow that she'll lose mortal life at the edge of the sea
Copyright ©
liquidsunshine
... [
2005-07-13 10:37:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 03:57:19 PM AEST
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I thought this would make a divine story.
The ending left me curious as to what would happen to her...
Very enjoyable.
Kie |
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 13th July 2005 @ 08:34:44 PM AEST
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Splendid write. Left me sad and wondering if she just lived out her life alone in her little house by the sea and maybe one day a storm took her away. I would rather believe the dove came back and she and the dove were as happy as could be. : )
 |
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 05:12:53 PM AEST
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This is a most beautiful write.. simply wonderful...
Jenni |
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 09:59:47 PM AEST
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Ah, but there are many a day between that day and this, I'm certain. Though... beautiful she is - there by the sea. *smiles*
Lovely Chels... achingly so. Something in this reminded me of Poe... perhaps I'm reflecting on Annabel Lee (my favorite of his) or... simply the melancholy beauty of this piece. Well done, hon... yes... well done.
*gigantic hugs*
~Snem
(who needs to stop by your page more often) |
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:47:28 PM AEST
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You have created the "feel" od a whole life here on this one page!
Awsome creation Chels, the sadness and images flow so well off the page right into this readers heart. |
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tricky on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 12:02:11 AM AEST
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| I know how you feel. I seem to lose evrythign important to me, especially today. I know its not the same, but it hurts none the less. I applaud you and I hope you and Jared are together forever. |
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Re: If It Never Came Back
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Friday, 12th August 2005 @ 01:17:09 AM AEST
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I really liked this story. Sometimes they don´t end because they aren´t meant to yet. Extremly well done.
Take care. I look forward to this poem visiting you for a second write.
David |
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