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The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
Contributed by
ArdRi79
on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 09:06:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
obsession
|
Heavy granite skies opress me,
There's thunder in the air,
While I walk in the hard emerald garden,
And sapphirine eyes are Elsewhere
Elsewhere's a savage garden,
There every flower's a snare,
But in a bower of thorny black roses,
I dream of blue skies of Elsewhere
The wasting sickness of Oengus upon me,
Bright deeds done, a sde set to rout,
Then Sapphirine eyes in another disguise,
In my arms, mine beond doubt
Then all that is, was and will be,
Is consumned in emerald, the fire of my kind
Yet stiring the ashes what do I see,
But a pair, of Sapphirine eyes!
Still heavy granite skies opress me,
There's thunder in the air,
Still I lie in my thorny black bower,
To dream of blue skies elsewhere
Those Sapphirine eyes always haunt me,
The savage flowers have me snared,
And I know there's no peace for me,
'Till I return to the land of Elsewhere.
Copyright ©
ArdRi79
... [
2005-07-15 09:06:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArdRi79 on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 09:12:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The proper Title of this poem is "The longing of a decendant of Bran, son of Febal"
Canada is Elsewhere in this poem and the savage flowers and the savage garden are capitalism and the effect it has on people. While in Vancouver I saw people walk by a woman crying on her hands and knees because she was homless, sickening. savages. The imagery: Ireland is called the Emerald Isle and the black Rose. I changed the meter from the thrid stanza to flow like traditional Irish music because the dream of Oengus is an Irish Legend. |
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Re: The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 01:06:31 PM AEST
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An interesting cool write .
great job. |
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Re: The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dri on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 03:35:16 PM AEST
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| good lord. bravo. reads like a classic. |
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Re: The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 04:03:25 PM AEST
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ArdRi, it is exquisite as is. I wouldn't change a thing about it. I think even Thomas McCarthy would be proud reading it. You have done a splendid job her.
Rita |
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Re: The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 15th July 2005 @ 08:30:15 PM AEST
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Beautiful, incredible , and romantic!! How wonderful to have a passion for someone !! Love.... there is no emotion stronger or more glorious!!!!
Leia36 |
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Re: The Longing of a decended of Bran son of Febal
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 16th July 2005 @ 12:05:07 AM AEST
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Bravo! This has an appropriately epic feel to it, with a word choice that is quite reminiscent of the Heroic Cycle, which I love. The imagery and format is well thought-out.
Personally, the phrase "sapphirine eyes" does seem a little long to be repeated as many times as it is through the poem. But the repetition is a needful and eloquent addition, so I'll not judge it thus.
Excellent work.
Sláinte!
Andrew |
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