|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Always Want More
Contributed by
thepizzaguy
on
Saturday, 16th July 2005 @ 10:44:51 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
It started the day my sister broke up with her first boyfriend.
I saw tears of anguish running down her face,
and I vowed, never to do that to a girl.
With all my being I focused my energy
on being the compassionate boy
that any girl could talk to.
But in the back of my mind,
I was also waiting.
Waiting for that girl.
The girl who would save me.
Save me from my Obsessive Compulsive
self.
Save me from the nights that I lay up
thinking about how I come across to them.
Am I a dork?
A jerk?
Did I laugh to much?
What does she think of me?
Girls always tell you not to worry,
that they are o.k. and that nothing is wrong.
But I am the boy who dared
to take them by the hand,
and say "Your eyes tell me your not"
I am the boy
who sits down with the girl
who puts her head on my chest
as she weeps for another.
And then I weep.
I weep because
one of my gender conpatriots
has made this girl cry.
And I want so desperatly
to kiss her pain away.
And show her
what a real man is like.
But that would ruin everything.
After that she could no longer
run to me in tears
and get a hug,
while she cried on my chest.
The relationship would change.
As the camera zooms out from the scene,
you are left crying on my shoulder,
as I comfort you.
I too am left weeping.
Weeping because he hurt you,
and because I'll always want more.
...Fade to black...
...roll credits...
Copyright ©
thepizzaguy
... [
2005-07-16 10:44:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Always Want More
(User Rating: 1 )
by glassicallyunsuperficial on
Saturday, 16th July 2005 @ 11:08:44 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I guess standing at a distance, things are much more clearer; but they are out of our reach. That's sad, 'cos we do want it, but can never get it.
I hope there be a miracle and you'd find "the one"
cheers,
-glass |
|
|
Re: Always Want More
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Saturday, 16th July 2005 @ 11:36:46 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
It is not so much what you have to offer. It is a love thing. There is generally an instant attraction that cannot be denied. Your girl will show up and want more than to cry on your shoulder. Be patient.
 |
|
|
Re: Always Want More
(User Rating: 1 )
by Evshrug on
Sunday, 17th July 2005 @ 01:28:09 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
It seems that you decided to view "your" (well, it really is your life, but it's the poem's narrator's too) life as a movie at the very end. Hmm.
I think your writing is getting more involved, more expressive with each one you write. And, I have to admit, I envy your passion that lends wings to your pen. I mean, I do to, but my mind discombobulates everything in the attempt to find a word. The word. Keep free of that trap, keep up the good work!
As far as this particular poem goes, I like the way that you really get at the heart of how someone like you has their life motivation and attitude moulded. You're right though: Being the crying shoulder is your "control drama." Readers feel that you do try to be a good guy, but the insightful also read the barrier/game you play of being long suffering, which gives you some satisfaction. Why? Like you said, you are afraid of being a dork, jerk, whatahvah, and at least this way you feel for sure that you are at least a noble creature. No doubt many readers of this poem wish for you to cut lose from your aloofness because of what it denies you, and their feelings are again proof of the emotions your poem beam out. Well, as long as the reader cares and isn't just ho-humming the read.
Cheers! |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
