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The Person You'll Never Know
Contributed by
HatchetGirl
on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 09:11:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I cry at night when I thing about my past
I'm always ready to kick your ass
and I'm the person you'll never know
'cause I'm the person she'll never show
I'm all the anger locked inside
from the pain she had to hide
and I'm the person you'll never know
'cause I'm the person she'll never show
I'm the place where stress gets bottled up
until the day that I blow up
and I'm the person you'll never know
'cause I'm the person she'll never show
The person you see is just a lie
I'm the one that should be outside
but I'm the person you'll never know
'cause I'm the person she'll never show
Once I tried to let myself out
but I know I can never come out
and I'm the person you'll never know
'cause I'm the person she'll never show
Copyright ©
HatchetGirl
... [
2005-07-25 09:11:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Person You'll Never Know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 01:00:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Interesting and a pretty good description of several people I've known. I'm trying to decide what I think about the repeated lines, but yes I do think they work well. Blessings, J. |
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Re: The Person You'll Never Know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 02:35:01 PM AEST
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Yes, that is usually what happens when you crawl in your shell, where you feel so safe..
Coming out now and then to let off steam, then run back in to hide..
Oh my my.. trust me.. I can identify with this poem.. I am a cancer woman... lol.. the crab in the bucket who tries to get to the top, then gets pushed right back down again.. after a while, you tend to want to stay in the bucket lol..
Well, that was me in my teens until I hit 35.. I was sure a later bloomer in every respect.. and sometimes, still, if I allowed myself to stay deep within myself.. not worth it... very depressing.. sickening.. better to come out and face the world.. yes, its a crazy world, but you don't have to be crazy with it..
I finally hurt myself inside so deeply that I had to risk coming out and to be myself.. I am glad I did.. It was not as bad as my thinking led me to be..
And, most of it is thought processes.
***At first I did not like the redundant.. last two lines of each stanza.. so I skipped them after the first two stanzas.. found myself lost.. had to start all over again, because I lost the story..
And then I realized, at least for me, It was important that those two sentences...
and I'm the person you'll never know
'cause I'm the person she'll never show
...be repeated over and over again.. it further kept me with the plot of the whole story..
Very intriguing poem .. thank you for posting.. I saw my old self again.. nice to read to see that I made it thru a scary part of my life.. that I actually matured... and also.. that the risk I took.. was the best thing I ever did for myself..and I supposed for others who was around me..****
I love myself.. I truly do.. and it shows... why does it show.. because others love me to, and I can feel it..
I am hardly arrogant.. I do not look down my nose at anyone..
ok, ready, here goes my two sayings..
I love you and Jesus loves you and don't you forget it..
No one is a stranger to me, you are all my brothers and sisters..
Again, nice write.. sure got me to talking lol lol.. ty ty
Raquel Leah (Poetress) |
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Re: The Person You'll Never Know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Greenlee on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 07:17:37 PM AEST
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| interesting twist to that topic. it's so true to life and it was a good read. thanks for sharing |
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Re: The Person You'll Never Know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty06 on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 02:49:21 PM AEST
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| You seem to have a thing going with this Poe style. I like it though, it's very fitting for dark poetry. Again, great repetition, though I think you need to make the stanza's a little longer. You need more before repetition lines or else they stick out like sore thumbs and sometimes people see it as you didn't know what else to write and miss the whole point. Keep posting! |
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