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DiP THONG
Contributed by
mangos
on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 05:12:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Promising is what you are looking for
A response to the inexperienced amateur
Compensates tremendous
Sequentially building upon each other
Embarrassing to know
The fluency in which you now stutter
Or for that matter
Your bedroom manners
Committed to objectivity
Individuality inhibited a remission
Phonologically aware
Of how the symbols pair then plot
Change the climate
An equal chance to succeed
The promise of which you speak
Lack of achievement
Stability in unstable reasons
Look around and believe
Reconstruct an image
So that it imprints and resonates
Reproaches that mitigate
Out of control
Spirals that just dont correlate
With the random circles
That entrap and dilate
Reconstruct a belief
Mold it in to what you need
What turns you on
It wont make you see
Optimum way to discover
The end point
A thriving awareness
Of what it never was
And what it will always be
__________________
_____________
Copyright ©
mangos
... [
2005-07-25 17:12:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: DiP THONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 11:14:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very deep and detailed though the underlining message Im not sure of I liked it just the same
Michelle |
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Re: DiP THONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 09:58:36 PM AEST
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Hmmm I can't quite figure out which emotion is behind this write, but I enjoyed it just the same. The wording and flow were on point, and I like how the flow picks up in the fourth stanza (Which incidently is my fave) and then slows down again for the final stanza...Nice delivery! Welcome to YPDC btw!
Enjoy your stay : )
Scorp. |
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