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Every Second Of Silence
Contributed by
cuddlytiger17
on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 01:04:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Emotions run high
In the tides between us.
Uncertainties lurk beneath the surface,
As insecurities cloud unsteady waters.
And every second of silence
Was like a shadow cast upon my heart,
Overwhelming as the darkness settled in;
Pressing against the walls
Until the dam broke lose,
And all that was held within
Came rushing out in one big spill.
Emotions run high
In the tides between us,
And every second of silence
Tore at the seams of my heart.
Copyright ©
cuddlytiger17
... [
2005-07-26 13:04:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Every Second Of Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 01:11:58 PM AEST
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very nice!! i mean, the imagery was fluid and it so easy to grasp the depth of it.. and then, when the dam broke...wow!
very good.. keep up the good work
dw |
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Re: Every Second Of Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Brandyx7 on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 02:29:07 PM AEST
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| I read this once.. and then I read it again.. because, it was so good.. my mind and eyes... couldn't seem to grasp it. |
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Re: Every Second Of Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 04:14:06 PM AEST
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Artfully conveyed - finely tuned is this metaphor! I adored the line "And every second of silence" when it first appeared... and liked that you repeated it again at the end - especially as you used it to circle back to the first two lines. Nicely done!
Keep writing,
~Snem |
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Re: Every Second Of Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 03:00:42 AM AEST
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I like that you maintained the watery metaphor,
even I have to remind myself sometimes.
--Ghosty |
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Re: Every Second Of Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 10:56:54 PM AEST
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I am trying to mentally visualize a word that would aptly describe the feelings/vibes that eminated from your poem. Powerful, doesn't seem strong enough.
When I read the title, initially I thought that there are times when silence makes a sound so loud that it is deafening. You don't notice it until a sound happens...like placing a wine glass on a table. Then it is silent again and it reverberates........and I think time must surely just stop and dwell in the silence.
I felt SO MUCH when I read your poem. It really made an impact. That is the kind of poetry I never ever tire of.
I'm glad I got the opportunity to read this.
Kie |
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Re: Every Second Of Silence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ka_ching234 on
Friday, 13th April 2007 @ 12:09:22 PM AEST
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| That was so beautiful. My heart was bursting with emotion. |
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