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For Darkest Eyes
Contributed by
justintears
on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 09:19:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Living in a heartless world
My hands could never mend
An innocence for darkest eyes
Of life, now in descend
High heavens recollect the past
And breathe a life i knew
I never faced the tears the same
With the sorrows that I grew
And in the coldest of her ways
My love for her was spilled
I'm looking for a trace of hope
In my heart that she once filled
My life is like a fading candle
Dimming light falls everyday
My eyes no longer reflect her glow
Now blackened, they turn away...
Copyright ©
justintears
... [
2005-07-27 21:19:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 09:22:09 PM AEST
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| this is dark,sad, romantic in a way. you did a very god job writing this. i loved how you ended it. great job. |
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 09:25:30 PM AEST
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| nice |
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty06 on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 09:35:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the rhythm of this poem. Smooth and steady, and not a single line loses the feeling of the poem. The heart being filled and spilled, the fading candle and dimming light, all wonderful metaphors. Some of your metaphors are new, which is fantastic, and some are a little cliche but you put them in a fresh new light so that they don't sound over used and annoying. Excellent write. |
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 10:37:35 PM AEST
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I think this is very lovely. I have had the same feelings and in the end did the same exact thing, just turned my eyes and heart away. It is a must, a self defense mechanism. I like this piece of work, immensely.
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by CarolinaBlue on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 10:47:48 PM AEST
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A write so many can relate to.
Very nice job, beautiful yet, very sad. Don't worry, things will get better for you.
~Blue~ |
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by juliette on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 10:50:11 PM AEST
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Wow! I am so feeling this poem! This is amazing! Beautifully written, just the right amount of emotion so that you can interpret it in many ways. I loved the lines:
"I never faced the tears the same
With the sorrows that I grew"
Just awesome! Thanks for sharing!
juliette
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 11:13:36 PM AEST
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| very impressing. i liked how you kept with the theme of this the most. your didnt wander off topic like many poems, and that shows the strength of using your topic only to reinforce it. |
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenwings on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 05:24:16 AM AEST
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very deep, very grabbing at the heart, good write
tasha |
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Re: For Darkest Eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 10:33:49 AM AEST
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Very nice... dark, and despairing. I thought the rhyme was great and the imagery was very fresh and original.
Keep up the fine writing!
dW |
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