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Stage -1
Contributed by
Kayden
on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 01:58:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
Can't get past the sleeping faze
All day I have been in this daze
Can't shut my eyes at all
Spiriling down in a fog
I'm laying here in bed
No rest or daydreams in my head
My eyelids won't go down, down, down
Am I like this or am I just stoned
Sun is gaining
Time is draining
Sun is gaining
Time is draining
I am fadeing
I am fadeing
My eyes are standing
My eyes are standing
My words start to slur
Don't know what to say any more
Wake up with senses dulled
Stand up to see the room spining
Copyright ©
Kayden
... [
2005-07-28 13:58:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Stage -1
(User Rating: 1 )
by Beni on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 02:59:49 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is a great poem well done! xx |
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Re: Stage -1
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sad-one on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 03:57:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Nothing personal, but i happen to HATE this poem. it has a horrible rhyme scheme. Maybe thats how you wanted it but i didnt like it. i cant say that it was completey horrible though, because if ignore the rhyming and stuff it has a very good message. it shows lots of emotion which i think every good poem has. im really sorry if i affended you. if u have something to tell me, just PM me anytime. |
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