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Seedless and Shoulders
Contributed by
SensitiveSoAbused
on
Thursday, 28th July 2005 @ 11:59:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Eyeballs like grapes
tremble seedless and shoulders
hunch forward sometimes, back
quite often
i am here
infrequently and there
bouncing back and forth
like Pong, though nineteen
69 is never a reality.
never fantasize in this brain
is very heavy like eyelids
like mascara like masks
like eyeshadow in shadows
i hide
like running and tripping
to concrete and crushing
face and flowing
blood from lips
Visualize these
Endomorphins as
my neurons fire
like war.
Ammunition, explosions
and body parts tearing
limb from limb
from heart.
(this is shellshock and this is fright)
this is me pale and sweating and
Upstairs they are killing each other.
(these are my knuckles)
(broken round this barrel)
So very wide, my
eyeballs like grapes
tremble seedless and shoulders
My stomach, a
knot like my heart
Copyright ©
SensitiveSoAbused
... [
2005-07-28 23:59:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Seedless and Shoulders
(User Rating: 1 )
by dreamer_4_eternity on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 12:33:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow this is well written, and i liked how you created this piece to be one you must read twice or more to grasp the concept, your word choice was great, too... overall great write! |
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Re: Seedless and Shoulders
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 04:31:48 AM AEST
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| This was a good write. |
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Re: Seedless and Shoulders
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 06:46:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Another utterly satisfying and sorrowful masterpiece to behold over and over again, as only you can create. I believe your fingers never lie, cheri... They reveal the beauty, the anguish and misery that dwells within the sanctums of your soul... through words and images so divine, that it pains me to read...
My stomach, a
knot like my heart…
You seem to have many references to knots, twists, and other synonmous things of that nature in your poetry... I wonder what the hidden meaning behind it is... if there is a subliminal message..
Your abilities to morph countless illusions of surreal splendor is breath taking, and I am in awe of your talent... I am completely enthralled in your tales of heart ache and despair, in your ever-changing pictures of beauty and decay, in your flawless precision to manipulate my heart into feeling exactly what you are feeling... THAT, my dear friend, is talent, and you can deny it all you want, but I will always say that you ARE a magnificent poet that should be recognized. Exquisite, my sweet Lane... you have captured my attention, held it with an iron grasp till the very end, and have left me... deliciously satiated. Merci beaucoup for your gorgeous words... Always a pleasure beyond measure reading them.
My apologies for the humiliatingly long wait for a comment... things have been quite hectic here at work, and I haven't had the time to correctly praise this specific piece (for I have read both your newest work, yet had not the words to grace upon them).. So, *bows head in solemn promise* I will comment on your other piece ASAP, and that is a Scouts Honor, cheri, :P. Riveting, and of course, perfect. You never fail to enchant my eyes, and inspire me, my dear. LOVE THIS! *hugs* Hope to see more from you. All my love. Forever and always,
Your sweet flower.
~*Stephy*~ |
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