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angels song
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 04:56:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
it started like any other day sun was shining on the grass i lay
i watched you pass a smile as lovely as the sky
the type of woman that could make any man cry
you said hello then sat down right beside
the emotions in me wanted to run and hide
Megan was her name the sound like angels song
we sat and talked our discussion was long
our eyes were hurting from the constant stares
as the wind blew your very beautiful hair
strawberry blonde fluttering in the breeze
making me want to fall to my knees
you got up and left something about being late
she ran to a man that must have been her date
why does my life have to be this way
why is it that everyone i like keep walking away
how do i hurt we only just met
another scar on my heart my eyes gently wept
this is the part of life that hurts me so much
walking this world with out a womans touch
i guess i'm destined alone no love to care
why is this burdon so hard to bare
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2005-07-30 04:56:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: angels song
(User Rating: 1 )
by PuppyChow on
Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 11:07:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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*sucks in breath*
harsh life. hope it gets better. everyone has reasons not to smile, i hope you know that. everyone suffers from somthing or lack of somthing. so know your not alone and theres somone out there for you. you just have to be patient and wait. it might take more tries, hundreds, or just one more. just keep at it. |
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Re: angels song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 02:56:21 AM AEST
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| I couldn't help but notice you did not capitalize anything except for Megan. I wonder why? I'm certain you must be aware that sentences begin with a capital letter. As a fellow poet I should hope so! "i" should be "I" also. I think you governed your emotions well in this poem, but found some of the rhymes to be pushed a little hard. Also, "Burdon" is spelled "Burden." Keep practicing, and I hope you find someone dear to love who will reciprocate. |
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Re: angels song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shyness on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 10:44:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hey, I know how you feel but remmember this no matter what happens you should never frown because you never know who might fall in love with your smile :) I't can be hard sometimes believe me I know but its the sad stuff that makes all the happy stuff feel so good :) Great poem!!! Hang in there. |
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