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how come?
Contributed by
fireispassion
on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 06:28:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
as you lay there telling me its okay
i wonder why you hadn't told me sooner
for you knew what you were doing and
you thought you couldn't trust me?
i told you i would be there for you through
thick and thin but you did not believe me
now you lay there telling yourself and me
everything will be ok
10 secs....20 secs........
you and i here the sirens
as the ambulance comes to save you
but as i look down horrified
you have already left into a better place
i ask myself how come? why did this happen to him?
for i loved you with all my heart and
when i walked into your room that day
i never thought i would be reviving you
and fighting for you to stay with me
but you left me anyway and i connot understand
why did you do this to me
how could you overdose, i didn't even know you
did them but now i do
but its to late to help you now
because you have left me
How Come??
Copyright ©
fireispassion
... [
2005-07-31 18:28:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 06:41:27 PM AEST
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"How come?" that is a question that is hard to answer for many people. The pain that is described in this poem is so clear and understanding and I truely hope that things get better for you.
Keep your chin up!
~Brenna~ |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 06:43:54 PM AEST
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this would be a very dramatic and powerful poem .. but it needs to be put into poetic form .. and you need to use speel check; the word "here' means a place .. it should be hear.. you will always know that because the last three letters are the word "ear" .. but that's just one example; .. it's a nice piece of work but you really need to take more time...
mary |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 06:44:53 PM AEST
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this would be a very dramatic and powerful poem .. but it needs to be put into poetic form .. and you need to use spell check; the word "here' means a place .. it should be hear.. you will always know that because the last three letters are the word "ear" .. but that's just one example; .. it's a nice piece of work but you really need to take more time...
mary |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by brokenwings on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 07:54:27 PM AEST
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| this was a very good poem, i will not rag on you about your spelling, sometimes the spelling of words isn't as important as getting the point across, |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Naughtygurl on
Sunday, 31st July 2005 @ 09:19:16 PM AEST
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| Wow this makes me happy i never did sumthing i almost did last year .. poems like this make me remember my past and make me realize i'm so happy to b alive : ) |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Misunderstood_gurl on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 12:59:50 AM AEST
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omg...this brung tears to my eyes...my friend used to be suicidal...she cut herself and even tried to overdose...but she lived and im so glad she did...i know its hard losing someone...by suicide...i havent ever lost someone like that but i know its more painful than just losing them by accident....cause then you'd know that they didnt want to die and leave this place forever...just stay strong! dont give up!
Gr8 write...i loved it...although it was sad it was good! keep it up! |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by colinbaker62 on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 03:53:43 PM AEST
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Yes I liked this
Colin |
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Re: how come?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 02:31:02 PM AEST
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I know these feelings way too well
this, to me, was a great poem...
poems don't have to rhyme, remember that :D
Love ya,
~Kiela~
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