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Narcissist Dominus
Contributed by
Nihilist_Narcissist_25
on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 01:21:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Locked up inside myself
A prisoner in my own mind
I watch every move I make from within
Helpless to control a thing
I dont want to do this
But why do I still persist
I abandon myself
The cruelest thing of all
Everyone has come and gone
Turned their attention far from me
But still I had myself
My truest friend
My closest ally
My mentor and protector
But now I turn my back on myself
And I am left more than just alone
I am left empty
A blank stare
An emotionless face
A cold hand
In infinite despair
In infinite sorrow
A projected barrier of hate
Impregnable
Nothing can get through
No one can get close
I am more than just alone
I am left empty
But this was my choice
To test if I still feel
Scar tissue is stronger
Than the original skin
But instead of cutting my face
I cut deep into my mind
Leaving a disfigured mess
But becoming continually stronger
Than I ever was before
Cold
Ruthless
Efficient
and Sharp
The final push
The last punishment
Empty
I abandon myself
And I am stronger
And all that remains
Is indestructible
With nothing left to lose
With no injury left to be inflicted upon
There are no boundaries
There are no limits
I abandon myself
And all that remains
The Cold
Ruthless
Efficiency
Of all that remains
Of me
Is indestructible
Copyright ©
Nihilist_Narcissist_25
... [
2005-08-01 01:21:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Narcissist Dominus
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 01:44:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| long ...verrrrrrrry long |
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Re: Narcissist Dominus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 02:12:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Oh my! This really needs to be trimmed down in order to keep the readers interest. The last 35 or so lines felt as though you were merely re-wording the first 35 or so lines. Way, waaay too long in my opinion. Perhaps stories are more up your alley? |
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Re: Narcissist Dominus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 02:56:39 AM AEST
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Your poem was wonderful. It honestly made me cry. It reminds me so much of myself. Thank you
Love always
Brooke |
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Re: Narcissist Dominus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nihilist_Narcissist_25 on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 11:48:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| .......then read it faster then. If you read it with the flow that I have in mind it actually makes an impact. Just ask Brook. And I think I only repeat one idea in the poem which is the main theme. But you are right about one thing, aliba, I do write stories as well. |
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Re: Narcissist Dominus
(User Rating: 1 )
by SinginSilence on
Tuesday, 2nd August 2005 @ 12:09:30 AM AEST
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| this is unnecessarily long...and it might be, honestly, because i can't relate...but...this doesnt really seem to make sense....like i felt it lacked coherency. Not because it was too deep but because it wasn't saying anything, to me atleat. I'll admit i did tear up, but that's because there's a fan blowing in my face and my eyes are drying out real bad. It gives me a sense of immaturity, but i can tell you're struggling emotionally, and i'm sorry for that, sincerely. I knew a kid that used to (and maybe still does) write stuff like this, and i know he thought he was writing really deep stuff, but it was just immature poetry. this is my opinion not an attack on you. |
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Re: Narcissist Dominus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 10:04:30 PM AEST
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When you abandon yourself all that is left is death.
But I have a question. Not to get to personal but do you buy clothes for yourself, do you shower, do you shelter yourself. If you do these are all contradictions of who you claim to be.
A person who felt like the words descibed in this poem would allow himself to waste away.
I think it is a hoax. |
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