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Our Little Secret
Contributed by
HatchetGirl
on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 12:00:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I don't know what I'm doing anymore,
Everything that is close to me feels so far away.
I can feel the weakness slowly rising,
It'll eat me alive if I don't fight back
But I so tired and worn out, I can't.
I don't remember your voice anymore,
'Cause when you talk I can't hear you speak,
Yet you can hear me in a whisper.
I am broken, and losing my mind...
I don't want to hide my tears from you,
But it's so hard when all you say is ' it's o.k '.
Stop telling me to mellow out,
I don't want to hear that from you, not this time.
Your the only one that can help me,
I rather kill myself, than have my family know,
It was hard to tell my friends,
But I'd die if my mom knew the truth.
I can't stop this fear that our secret will come out,
I don't want it to, I'll never be free again
And would never be able to have you.
So, I'll keep it inside and you do the same,
We'll tell them the day I turn eighteen.
Copyright ©
HatchetGirl
... [
2005-08-03 12:00:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Our Little Secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 12:53:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I'd like to see this in more poetic form .. stanzas .. three lines or something ..but it's pretty good. |
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Re: Our Little Secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 01:17:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good write of your emotions and secretive, scared feeling
good write
keep writing
keep smiling
sweetstraner
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Re: Our Little Secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shnannon on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 01:36:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Looks great to me.
I'm a big fan of free verse and yours flows really well.
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Re: Our Little Secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 05:29:49 PM AEST
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I came back again .. this line kept at me and I wanted to tell you..
"It'll eat me alive if I don't fight back
But I so tired and worn out, I can't. .. .
I really like that .. |
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Re: Our Little Secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kitty06 on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 07:37:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow, you have been writing your arm off...This is a great poem, the urgency and regret, the holding of a secret and how it can be hard. Though I hope whatever secret this is, you're okay. Message me and keep posting! |
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Re: Our Little Secret
(User Rating: 1 )
by TrowaDaryk on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 02:35:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| lol i really like this one and i know what its about heheheh |
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