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Wishful
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 09:46:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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I would be free of pavement..
newspapers of all the news
clocks that bully my existence
and cars that whisk me away like God
Traffic that moves unannounced
hours fettered by the stupid hands of men
I am tired to tears of the mental life
and my nights full of ghosts;
of never-known things
This sputtering monster machine
creaking into rusty senility
it's hammerstrokes deciphering
for it's innocent posterity
my heart's sudden evoloution
I would gather about me the softest things
as shadows on a burning lake
trees bending to earth, love..
Where oh where are the beautiful people?
..the quick of wit
and frowns that spit
on life's ceremonious sorrow-
..the insolent
..the indolent
..unending Day.. with sunlight dripping down it's chin-
I would sell my hypothetical soul
to wake sudden within the dawn
and find your footprints in dew outside my door..
B
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2005-08-05 21:46:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 09:53:44 PM AEST
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beautiful write... you pulled me right into the poem. you did great! and picked the right words!! good job, keep up the great work!
~sprints |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 10:20:52 PM AEST
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I remember those days and nights for years. The 36 hr days and the plastic smiles and the political games. The death and decay of my soul. Thankfully I only have to live with those memories and not the actual life anymore. Hang in there. One day it will be ended and life can truly begin.
Smiles,
Rita |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 01:39:53 AM AEST
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nice one bro. i like the sort of 'abstractness' of it.
5 stars.
wiz |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by jmpy84 on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 02:00:33 AM AEST
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| great use of words |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 04:08:54 AM AEST
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Beautiful! The sentiments (and the scorn) of the first part is well stated, but the latter half... well, that is extraordinary. The last lines in particular hit home with a force. Well done, my friend, well done!
Andrew
(who hath a new favorite poem) |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 12:24:17 PM AEST
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Billy,
I have felt like this!!!! So insightful and real yet, Beautifully worded. I find the last verse incredible and WITH OUT selfishness! It gave me goose bumps ,
Leia36
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 12:39:14 PM AEST
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Oh my...
I am having one of those wordless moments due to being frankly speechless.
This is one of the most well written poems I have ever read and i've read ALOT.
No great comment is forthcoming, but believe when I say this ranks on my high list..
Kie |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 01:36:39 AM AEST
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magnificent iorny in these phrases especially the last verse, another gem of
true poetry at it's best . . .
Ben |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 04:33:53 PM AEST
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Love your unique form of expression in this piece...Very well done, and worded so perfectly. Tentatively I will say the fourth and sixth stanzas were my favourite, but really the whole write was just really good!
Scorp. |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 10:54:43 PM AEST
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what a personal write ...........so deep and so true. Well, this one has a 10 star deal ,,,,,,,,again a wonderful write, always a pleasure reading your wites.!
Brew~
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Sunday, 7th August 2005 @ 11:09:44 PM AEST
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wow......i L O V E D this one Billy....
I agree with your sad thoughts....where are the beautiful people???
all are CYNICAL..without empathy and sometimes even sympathy.
powerful, meaningful poem and I know for sure you are a rare BEAUTIFUL person and I would love to stand outside your door my friend!!
*hugs* |
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Re: Wishful
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th September 2005 @ 04:27:10 PM AEST
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Just when I think you can amaze me no further, you write
something brilliant like this. This is the very kind of poem
that humbles me to no end. There is nary a word I could
offer to explain the magnitude of my admiration for
your talent. I am and forever shall remain inspired by you...
~Breezy |
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