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I miss you marigold
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 11:29:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
blue dabs of paint
spill me softly into lakes
so i can swim along with waves
just take me from this awful place
spilling dreams
into the morning dying seems
to be like sand within the streams
let me sleep much longer please
falling clouds
rain it sometimes wonders how
cold is loud like thunder sounds
in my head her voice still pounds
steal a day
keep the pictures heart away
i never took the film to play
now i want the time to say
a pool of wishes
diving boards fall sometimes viscious
like the crash of falling dishes
yes, my mind is full of you...
i miss you marigold
i wonder how i never told
i miss the flower never sold
i've never been the wind of bold
Dwayne Wabegijig
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-08-11 11:29:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I miss you marigold
(User Rating: 1 )
by faerie on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 12:23:01 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| I really really like your poem! I think our styles of writing are similair, once I post more poetry it should be more evident. I like the spacing of the words, it's really unique, and the rhyming as well. You really have a lot of potential. My favorite line is"spill me softly into lakes", it really speaks out, it almost jumps out of the page. I would enjoy talking to you some time. You seem like an intelectual. |
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Re: I miss you marigold
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 01:18:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Beautiful poem, I loved it, good rhyming, nice structure as well. SLipSiX. |
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Re: I miss you marigold
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 11:21:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is another fantastically expressed write Dwayne...A strong first stanza that carried your words off with finesse to that wonderful ending...Good job!
Why is this your second last post btw???
Scorp.
(Who's hoping Dwayne isn't giving up on poetry) |
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