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What Lies Beyond The Pane
Contributed by
rockergirl94
on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 08:32:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
You were as close to me as a fever,
But honey this fever will never pass.
I reached out to touch your face,
And felt the cool sensation of glass.
This pane is so familiar,
Chilled like our voices that September.
A night Ive tried hard to forget,
But its been dying to be remembered.
I tried to break through this cursed wall,
But even this reaped no response.
Only a glint dancing in your eye,
Of a strangely empty sort of solace.
A thought waltzed in through the doorway,
Through the doorway of my mind.
Alas, its a one-way mirror,
Reflecting moments of infinite time.
If she found comfort in her fear,
Then surely comfort was well upon her.
But thinking, Im no bigger than this.
Has never made you any larger.
So put those pretty eyes to rest,
Shut out old portraits of the past.
Find refuge in the hope of coming days,
And shatter this one way glass.
Copyright ©
rockergirl94
... [
2005-08-13 20:32:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What Lies Beyond The Pane
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 09:30:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| well done, i can feel your sadness in your words. A+++ |
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Re: What Lies Beyond The Pane
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 09:55:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Intense write, I had to read it a couple times because there are lines here that are just, well, quite thought provoking. I enjoyed the first stanza, the whole thing was really good. and in the second stanza; "a thought waltzed in through the doorway, through the doorway of my mind, Alas, it's a one-way mirror, Reflecting moments of infinite time" Just beautiful. I really enjoyed this piece. Much peace to you. Laura |
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Re: What Lies Beyond The Pane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 11:19:46 PM AEST
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Wow....what an intricately woven poem.... well done..
Jenni |
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Re: What Lies Beyond The Pane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Darkhorse71 on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 10:44:33 AM AEST
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| Great play on words with the title. I hope you've managed to shatter your pain. |
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Re: What Lies Beyond The Pane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Tuesday, 16th August 2005 @ 04:17:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| What an awesome poem! Really, really good imagery and concept. Shatter that glass! |
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Re: What Lies Beyond The Pane
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bolts on
Sunday, 23rd January 2011 @ 12:17:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really like this poem, impressive use of rhyme and rhythm, coupled with a clear narrative throughout, |
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