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Story Part I
Contributed by
stellar
on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 10:29:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
Prologue:
My Dear Ana,
I had given all I had, yet came up empty handed.
My life had unexpected turns and wasn't how I planned it.
I tried to make it work, but it never seemed to last.
And so I bid farewell to you. May you keep my memory in the past.
I'm leaving this world, but your life will go on.
Don't waste your time on me. For here I don't belong....
Chapter 1:
Ana opened her eyes and squinted at her alarm, 10:09am. She had over slept.
"Damn," she moaned.
After getting up to fast, she sat back on the edge of her bed to regain her balance. She slowly stood and grabbed the sheet of paper with the airline information.
"Damnit!" She said again.
Deciding there was no time to eat, she threw on her bra and a pair of jeans and made her way out of the bedroom. She stopped briefly when she reached her mother's room. She peeked in.
"I should be back before she wakes up," she thought to herself. But just in case, she got some coffee started and placed two aspirin on the kitchen counter next to a mug.
It was now 10:15am as Ana backed her TransAm down the driveway. The airport was about 25 miles away and the flight was coming in at 11am. Hopefully traffic would be scarce being a saturday morning.
_______________
Chris leaned back in his seat as the pilot came on over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, we are now preparing to land. Please fasten your setbelts and put your chairs in the upright position. We should be arriving in about 15 minutes. The weather in Chicago is 58 degrees with clear skies. Thank you again for flying with United and enjoy your stay."
Chris' stomach tightened. He still hadn't decided how he felt about this homecoming. When the plane touched down, he closed his eyes for a moment and imagined he was anywhere but here.
______________
The airport was a zoo. After wasting 10 minutes searching for a parking spot, Ana quickened her pace to make up time. She stopped when she reached security and begame surveying the crowd. She looked down at her watch, 11:14am. The plane whould've landed by now. She stood on her tip toes and peered at the group of people walking toward her. Still no sign of him.
"Looking for someone?" A man's voice from behind startled her.
Ana spun around and saw Chris standing several feet away. She slowly broke into a smile and ran toward him. He caught her in a hug and squeezed her tightly. Ana returned the favor, not wanting to let him go. Chris released his grip and stared at her as if to say, "I know." He winked and grinned before asking, "How's mom?"
______________
Continued....
Copyright ©
stellar
... [
2005-08-14 22:29:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Story Part I
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 10:45:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i dont know much about story writing, but this seems like a really strong start. I like the flow and the way it moves along. good job post the rest when you get it. |
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Re: Story Part I
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 11:19:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write keep it up |
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Re: Story Part I
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 14th August 2005 @ 11:42:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I read alot of books and my friend wants to be a writer and red marked all my work that i let her read when i was in school here is some helpful hints. Put some more imagry describing the house a little since that was where she started. Mention why she was going to the airport. I do like the time giving it helps the reader. I like the story and please let us know when the next one is done. Thanks for writing and hope i wasn't to mean and these are just my opinions and it is a strong start. Keep it up |
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Re: Story Part I
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 12:08:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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It's very good writing, but it's short for a book's beginning. You'll need to fill it in more. I can't recommend quite how to do so, as I'm terrible at filling in myself. But good work! Keep it going.
Have you considered posting this in the stories section, where it more properly belongs? You'll have to pay the premium membership fee to do so, but it's a good thing to have (premium section, stories, and no advertisements). Also, the site could really use the money right now, as it's almost going under.
Andrew |
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Re: Story Part I
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 12:57:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like it , good so far. maybe put it in the story section
Leia36 |
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