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Grandma Shorty’s Garden
Contributed by
poet70
on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 03:23:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
Early time in spring,
On hands and knees
With mini rake, and hoe
She works the hardened soil
It becomes softened, fresh, free from weeds
As the soil becomes to her liking
She begins to plant rose bushes trimmed just right
Also she brings out many flowers as well.
The colors are reds, dark blues, pink, like a childs cold cheek,
Violet, purple are her favorite.
Many of these colors are set deep within a sunset.
With all that has been done, something isn't right.
she thinks, and rememers the bird house,
and her frog, angel, and ladybug statues are laid out just where she wants them.
She decides for the best to lay down a brick path to kneel on to pull weeds
or walk on it to admire all the hard work she put into her garden,
and to avoid the mud when it is the soil is real wet.
Now all seems complete to her,
she is now content at what she has accomplished in her own garden.
She is happy with her very own work of art.
By Tammi Pitman ( use to be her youngest granddaughter, till she passed on )she was 93or 94
Copyright ©
poet70
... [
2005-08-15 03:23:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Grandma Shorty’s Garden
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 04:02:28 AM AEST
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this is a very nice write i never got to know either one of my grandparents
be happy you did
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Re: Grandma Shorty’s Garden
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard2 on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 04:56:06 AM AEST
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| You wanted an honest opinion. It does not rhyme. A jumble of words telling a story. Why not write a story on the theme so that the readers gets the picture in a flowing style. I like the topic, Gardens are always good as well as Grandparents. Bernard 2 |
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Re: Grandma Shorty’s Garden
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zandria on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 07:05:50 AM AEST
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I like story telling poetry..and NONE of my stuff rhymes.
This was very touching, and made me think of her life having been that garden, the kids she had the flowers she tended.
In your second stanza, you might wish to choose either 'Also' OR '..as well.' as using both is redundant and makes the line bumpy.
The last line if the 5th stanza is a bit ... halting? You may wish to rethink the word 'real' here... I personally don't believe you need it.
All told, this was (for me) a pleasant visit with my grandmother.
Thank you |
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Re: Grandma Shorty’s Garden
(User Rating: 1 )
by poet70 on
Monday, 15th August 2005 @ 05:49:01 PM AEST
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| I wanted to post here, so other readers would know how serious I am to learn and grow, thank you for the real comments, I loved each and everyone of them, I am at work making this poem the best for my Grandma, as she disserves it, and as I want to learn and grow, and the only way to do that is to have REAL comments, not just pats on the back even if it sucks, RIGHT? Once again THANKS. Tammi |
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Re: Grandma Shorty’s Garden
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Saturday, 12th May 2007 @ 04:54:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a beautiful tribute to your grandmother.
Blessings..
C.S |
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