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Her Thoughts
Contributed by
Inevitable
on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 03:12:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Words so blunt
as I cover my eyes.
The naked truth so pure so
Cold and bitter
Her fingers fidgit
She is nervous
He is calm
They just talk
The truth exposed
His eyes are soft
She suppresses the pain
He gives her advice
and she can't run anymore
They are holding on
and her eyes are so weakened
The tears are nothing more than
feelings she has left behind
To be bought, to be sold
nevertheless not giving a damn
As he runs his hands all over her
in her mind and her friends tell her no
she must stop or be careful
The lies will come back and
She's already soft
Already fragile
And he cares about her feelings
As he told her before
She is smart, he says
and he doesn't want her to fall
To far where the hurt
will keep coming like poison
Darkened on her wrists.
Copyright ©
Inevitable
... [
2005-08-18 15:12:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Her Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 03:14:48 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I liked it a lot, you can tell theres emotion and truth put forth into it, great job, keep it up. |
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Re: Her Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 05:56:47 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
The style of this peice is brilliant, truly one of my favorites! Your truth bleeds over unto this like a painting, it's vivid and imaginative yet vague enough to keep a hint of curiosity and a desire in me as a reader. This peice is unsurpassed as of now.
The poison of hurt is your gift, use it, abuse it.
~insinct is the only betrayal that is pure~weepingprophet |
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Re: Her Thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by littlelostgirl on
Thursday, 18th August 2005 @ 06:34:59 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This poem is fantastic! I like the style, it's kinda choppy but still flows some how. Throw in a chorus and I bet it'd make an awesome song. |
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