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Sparkling , Shine of a gem
Contributed by
brew
on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 06:51:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Tis thee fair maiden, hair of gold, eyes of green........Knew she had found more than a gem...the sparkling, of the gem was more profound..........Yet she did not know if it was for claim. She careful examined, and kept her fear.......because she knew is was so near.! She ever so gently, made the move..............To see if the gem would be in seclude. Oh, what a beauty of a gem, the inner so sweet, and fair........and all she needed was to adhere.! Then, she left a little clue.............would this gem, of great sparkle, and all so true.................make her become ever so blue?! She hoped, this one not.........for it held a certain spot.
Copyright ©
brew
... [
2005-08-22 18:51:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sparkling , Shine of a gem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 06:58:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nicely painted picture, but I think you'd be better served by line breaks and the usual poetry layout. The ellipses tend to detract from the effect of the words, which is why it is best to employ them sparingly. Keep writing, however!
Andrew |
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Re: Sparkling , Shine of a gem
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 09:40:15 PM AEST
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| beautiful wording! awesome write i love what youve done here. A+++ |
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Re: Sparkling , Shine of a gem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jeff_Scott_Morehead on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 10:19:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Outstanding wtite Brew!
Enjoyed your style.
Jeff |
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Re: Sparkling , Shine of a gem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 10:42:05 PM AEST
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absolutely beautfiul all i could see were these diamonds in my mind as i read this lovely writting or 2 coin the 60ts phrase what a mind trip . . .
Ben |
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Re: Sparkling , Shine of a gem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 10:54:20 AM AEST
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amazin write...just love it..
had to read it over and over..
I may be way off.. but, i see the gem as a heart of another..'
Its beautiful tyvm for sharin this
Huggggggggggggs
~~~Michelle~~~ |
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Re: Sparkling , Shine of a gem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 11:40:32 PM AEST
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I've got that spot...and this write write was
one of conviction and romance..
yet one of melancholy, in that so many miles divide-
Yours..
Billy |
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