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I wonder
Contributed by
Archie
on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 03:15:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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I wonder what the stars think
when they look down upon me
I wonder are they angels
making paths between my sin
I wonder when the rain clouds
rain water upon me
are their intentions
to wash away my pain
Does the moon shine brighter
trying to draw attention
from things that distract me
away from my God
Do the birds sing louder
or the winds blow faster
to keep my feet upon the path I trod
Everyone keeps asking
why I resist pleasures
I don't want to make scars
deep inside of me
I wonder when I''m crying
and the phone starts ringing
and my friend is asking
"Bro are you okay"
I wonder when I'm praying
about my many struggles
that burdens seem to lighten
and then they go away
Everyone is offering
to set me up with girlfriends
so that i can get laid
and see things their way
Yes I have my struggles
but I say no thank you
for I see the sunshine
and it brightens up my day.
"And Joseph said to her 'How can I do such a wicked thing against my God' . . ." From the book of "Genesis"
Copyright ©
Archie
... [
2005-08-23 15:15:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 03:25:14 PM AEST
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Thoughtfully done, and with strength too. Well written, my friend.
I like the thought expressed in these words;
Does the moon shine brighter
trying to draw attention
from things that distract me
away from my God
Do the birds sing louder
or the winds blow faster
to keep my feet upon the path I trod
Andrew |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by xForgottonscentx on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 03:39:28 PM AEST
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I liked this poem a lot especially the lines stated above and:
I wonder what the stars think
when they look down upon me
I wonder are they angels
Very good! |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 04:10:32 PM AEST
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I like your downs and ups....stars and rain..
As if the up stars come down with the rain..
So stars and rain both are upon you... both cleansing
All thing God makes are pleasant, and outstanding..of course to be noticed.. our art wants just that.. He is creator, like us.. with our words.. yes, look at the stars, feel the rain, see that moon....
LOL all things busy.. nice eh...birds, wind.
So same thing, stars, rain, moon, wind.. all avert us, same as the phone..
Now you reach the earth.. people... call.. phone,, ask.. ok... da da da....which helps us also... is that not the creators creation, for us to listen to those things and those people in places, that reach us... no matter who, what, where, when and how.. and why..
So, your things.. in the universe is prayer..oh.. I love this poem...
Now you come to everyone....the offer.. I love this word offer... does it not come from your beginning.. all those things mentioned above..
Then you are trying to reason.. not with your own mind.. but using mental tools out there, still creations..as if you rely on something greater than the greatest... of...
and then, here you are.. back to point one.. I love this poem.. you went the whole way around and back again to the beginning of the begin... wonderful write.. look at this last stanza ... is this not the complete circle to the beginning mark..?
*****Yes I have my struggles
but I say no thank you
for I see the sunshine
and it brightens up my day.
Yes I love this poem, its a 5 star poem.. I traveled with you in this right..
Little said about Joseph.. I am glad he decided to take Mary for his wife, and not be ashamed.. as in this poem.. same idea... wonders upon wonders, answers given by angels to deliver the goodness toward us and our end.. amen.. I love this poem.. perhaps I went off the deep end with it... but, I generally do that with all good literature..
A good piece of art will always deliver a reason to think deep upon the elements of creation.. such as this..
Raquel Leah ; ))
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by BtrFlyDrms on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 08:15:09 PM AEST
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| this was very beatuiful,sometimes we forget being so involved and busy in our lifes to look up at the stars and open up the window to the soul and exhale.I gave it a 5! ~Angie |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 09:46:12 PM AEST
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Written with such grace!! Archie, you are very talented and I applaud you. I cannot choose a fav stanza cuz I enjoyed it all...
Jenni |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 01:06:31 AM AEST
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Hi there Archie,
This is a beautifull write.
I haven't dated in six years but it's by personal choice.
good work and keep the faith.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 01:34:30 AM AEST
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This was really really good. Such honesty and yes I believe that God is acting
in each of those small blessings and is present in each beauty he created.
Thank you for posting this as it reminded me of the things I've felt and how
good God has been to me. I applaud you for obeying God, because
those scars inside are painful and impossible to heal completely. I know.
Awesome job.
~Kara~~Waos~ |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 09:27:16 AM AEST
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What a top write, well done!
I found it quite enlightening and very positive. You let your deepest feelings and the core of your faith shine in this poem, and I certainly hope you continue writing such positive and wonderful works for the rest of us to relish.
Dan |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 09:28:24 AM AEST
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This is a beautiful reflective, write!
Leia36 |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 01:30:00 PM AEST
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Archie this was deeply expressed.
I give you 100% for this fantastic write
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 06:12:22 AM AEST
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Great poem here! Wow, amazing. I really like your prospective and point of view. Awesome job. The verse to end it all was a great touch.
Take care.
David |
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Re: I wonder
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 06:19:13 PM AEST
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Hello there,
Interesting poem, it makes me feel strangely sad and sort of nostalgic. One stanza I like the most:
Everyone keeps asking
why I resist pleasures
I don't want to make scars
deep inside of me
Alex
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