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Please
Contributed by
Jane_Doe
on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 03:49:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
obsession
|
Whisper to me, lovely one
I can see the words form on your tongue
I'll wait for them to finally come
Please whisper to me, lovely one
Take my hand, dear brightest star
Your skin so close, yet still too far
I'll watch as you deny who you are
Please take my hand, dear brightest star
Smile at me, sweet work of art
Glorious emotions to quicken my heart
Wishing it was for me from the start
Please smile at me, sweet work of art
Look at me, darling love's mistake
Leave the heart, but remove the stake
I'm asking only for an alleviated ache
Please... look at me, darling love's mistake
Copyright ©
Jane_Doe
... [
2005-08-26 03:49:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by tiggytom on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 03:58:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Beautiful, the pain we go through eh.
thanks |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 04:09:44 AM AEST
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Very talented write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by valichka on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 04:45:34 AM AEST
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| Very beautiful, I love the words you use in here. I can't even explaine how beautiful it is :) |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Davinah on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 05:01:16 AM AEST
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yep, I can really relate to this one...
Very beautiful |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by BloodyTears5 on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 05:08:47 AM AEST
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well done..keep up the good work..
~Sarah |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 10:17:54 AM AEST
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| Great poem. Other thoughts come to mind but I will keep them hidden. |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Friday, 26th August 2005 @ 01:20:55 PM AEST
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Love the way you composed this write...The flow is steady, and you have a good rhyme scheme...but mainly I like the way you expressed your emotions, especially in the last stanza. Good job!
Scorp. |
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