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State Funeral
Contributed by
guiltycircles
on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 07:04:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
It wont be long she says
Whats happened to Alvarez?
Questions flying to and fro
Press release at school tomorrow
She went crazy they say
Shot everyone the other day
With the bullets of her guilt
She destroyed the family they had built
Bleeding in an alley she lies
Only the alcohol smothers her cries
When they find the body
Covered in paper saying sorry
Will they rejoice or scream in fright
Will they mourn her death or have a party that night
Knowing the damage has been done
She passes out not wanting to run
Because this is where she belongs
This is how she rights her wrongs
And as he silence falls upon this place
She knows that they will smile at the loss of her face
Copyright ©
guiltycircles
... [
2005-08-29 07:04:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 11:17:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh wow...strong emotions in this piece, and very vivid imagery :O
You did a good job conveying your thoughts here, and sometimes it really does seem like no one gives a damn, and things would be better if you were 'gone'. Try to ignore the negative, and focus on the positive. Take Care, and keep up the writes!
Scorp. |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 12:06:42 PM AEST
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Interesting flow
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by needs_change on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 08:39:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really really like this. i'm sure what to say other than that. it's an awsome poem. amazing. keep it up. |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by SensitiveSoAbused on
Sunday, 11th September 2005 @ 07:10:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Sophie...
Reminds me of Columbine...
I love the last line all over the place...
Hey, did you forget to read my last Private Message again? ;)
Write me back, ok hun?
My msn is fastlane_77@hotmail.com |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 10:32:54 PM AEST
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Panic stricken words..sad indeed-
and kudos to that last line-
B |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 04:29:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow...Intense write. So very emotional as well. I really liked the flow. |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 07:28:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow...
a really good write...
it read well and ended well if that is the right word?
coni |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by hellsfallenangel on
Tuesday, 29th November 2005 @ 10:20:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a very good write i liked it alot id would write more but i g2g bye
DEMON A.K.A ABBADON |
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Re: State Funeral
(User Rating: 1 )
by KarlaMarie on
Wednesday, 24th May 2006 @ 06:47:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I loved it, very angsty.
I almost feel sorry for the girl in the poem, but then i realise she isnt real...
Very good work
KarlaMarie |
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