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(untitled, STILL)
Contributed by
perfectly_flawed
on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 09:43:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
As my days end here,
all hope isnt gone.
Dreams remain,
warm in my bed,
sketched in my head.
I'll remain by the palm trees
let the wind and sand cover my skin,
and when the last grain of sand closes me in
I will feel your cold hand
summoning me to the sky,
but I won't die,
I'll never die with you by my side.
Copyright ©
perfectly_flawed
... [
2005-08-29 21:43:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: (untitled, STILL)
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 09:51:50 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| i really liked this. the last line really puts it together summarizing how strong the love is. great job. |
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Re: (untitled, STILL)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mangos on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 10:05:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That was a cool write, I enjoyed it immensely. Its short sweet and to the point. Great job |
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Re: (untitled, STILL)
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 11:11:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Ummm who in the hell gave this a 2????
I certainly think this piece deserves more than that! I think you did a good job with this write, and it had a good flow, even without rhyme. Nicely done!
Welcome to YPDC : )
Scorp. |
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Re: (untitled, STILL)
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXx_lil_pyro_xXx on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 05:07:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i agree with scorp this definitely deserves more than a 2! awesome write kristy! the last line is what made it whole. keep it up! |
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