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In Between
Contributed by
CrazyCowboy557
on
Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 09:11:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Sitting here looking at the moon
Just like that night in June
The radio playing a song that I can't remember
But the tune still gets me, even in September
Neon stars replace the real ones
A different town, but still the same son
Every night another suicide
Another one for the shifting tide
I promised myself I'd never leave the night
But today I sit staring at a classroom light
All these faces don't mean a thing
All these faces are just a worthless fling
A vacation from that which holds my soul
This town is nothing but a big hole
Nothing that can't be sewn together
Something for a needle and leather
I'm in the middle of nowhere without a prayer
I've started to pull off another layer
Now I'm in between heaven and hell
I started here, and this is where I fell
Only dead men have seen what I've seen
And those dead men live in the in between
My ticket has expired and I'm all out of dimes
Can't get out, so I guess I'll chop me out a line
This in between is what they call life
But can it live up to all its hype
Copyright ©
CrazyCowboy557
... [
2005-08-30 21:11:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by rockergirl94 on
Wednesday, 31st August 2005 @ 12:50:54 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I think you have lots of potential. I like the concept of neon stars replacing the old ones. And I also like how you are remembering things that happened in June, in the month of September.
I love your metaphor, "every night another suicide" and also the lines,
"Nothing that can't be sewn together
Something for a needle and leather"
Definately keep it up! you're a natural with metaphors and comparisons.
- Julie |
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Re: In Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 07:48:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This poem touched my heart. Your thoughts reflected pain, hurt, introspection, clarity and a sense of time running out (for lack of a better word).
It just moved me. Very much so.
Kie |
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Re: In Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by trini on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 09:16:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i came back for more. beautiful beautiful! i cant say how much i love you work. keep it up
-trini |
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Re: In Between
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrazyCowboy557 on
Friday, 2nd September 2005 @ 07:54:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I'm humbled that my words would move someone. |
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