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No Title
Contributed by
alex81388
on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 12:59:40 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I've exhausted every option.
I've walked down every path.
I've dropped everything to turn and listen.
But all I hear is things I hate,
Things of past.
Things I've known,
But that I've failed to cast.
These things have brought me to understand,
I'll never be able to hold your hand.
I'll always be in wonder, of what it could have been.
I'll never fully recover holding all of this within.
Where did I go wrong?
What did I not do?
Is it something that I said?
I swear I have been true.
You are the light.
You are the sign.
You're the only thing that'll make me happy.
The only thing I want as mine.
Do you not realize how much it really hurt?
Don't you ever wonder how great it could have been?
Are you unable to see what would do for you?
I think it's safe to say that you've never had a clue.
I've never wanted something so much,
And tried to hard to get it.
You're an amazing person,
I cry as I admit.
Just promise me one thing,
Do you think you could?
If it were reversed,
I sure know I would.
Come out from behind that wall.
The one that shields you so well.
The one that's lets you pretend to care,
And hold your real feelings in a shell.
Walk away forever,
And let people learn you're true.
If you had done that from the start,
Maybe I'd still be with you.
When you're far away, cast your eyes up to the stars.
Make sure you remember me saying "This entire picture could be ours"
Bring back every moment, I ever had with you.
Maybe then you'll realize what is really due.
Don't loose yourself again.
Once should be enough.
Learn from your mistakes.
I know for me that it's been tough.
I've done the same thing several times.
I've lost sight of what was at risk.
I've never felt this kind of depression.
Missing but your kiss.
So the times they are a' changing.
Are you changing too?
There's an entire world out there.
But I'll never heal from you.
I'd try again, if I had the chance.
I'd put you in the spotlight.
It is where you now belong.
The power over me makes you ever strong.
But the truth really does hurt.
Forgetting is not forgiving.
Long live that forgotten Rubicon.
It's you that I'll be missing.
Copyright ©
alex81388
... [
2005-09-01 00:59:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: No Title
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kano on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 01:34:16 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
*I think it is really good, and as long as you *are happy with the outcome of your poem *then who cares right. Every poet has their *own style and not all poems rhyme either. *Those are called Pro's I believe. But if you *are looking for suggestions on yours , the *only thing that I could suggest is that when *you write a poem stick with one type of *rhythm, like here....
So the times they are a' changing.
Are you changing too?
There's an entire world out there.
But I'll never heal from you.
*All the lines seem to go in the same rhythm
When you're far away, cast your eyes up to the stars.
Make sure you remember me saying "This entire picture could be ours"
Bring back every moment, I ever had with you.
Maybe then you'll realize what is really due.
*Then this part has its own different rhythm to *it, still has good rhythm to it but when a *reader reads it going from one *rhythm to *the other makes the poem seem *very *choppy and forced because they are *going *from a large to small or small to large.
*But that is just an opinion I really like that *poem and I know I have some that seem *forced as well........well because I did force *them |
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Re: No Title
(User Rating: 1 )
by gwenevere on
Thursday, 1st September 2005 @ 03:01:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Unfortunately there comes a time when as much as you love someone you have to let go.This is the act of true love.Once done you can move forward to a new life, looking forward instead of back, good Luck, Ros |
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