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When My Shadow Is Taken Away
Contributed by
DemonProdigy
on
Saturday, 3rd September 2005 @ 12:22:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
The numbing wind cuts right through you
You freeze, stopping immediately
Cant breathe anymore
You suffacate in the luminous dust
As your shadow is taken away
Ripped from your comfort zone
You're put on display for all to scrutinize
You begin to cry the tears of a worthless child...
I look around at the deceased
This graveyard that surounds me
When I see you,
I dont see a face, but rather a tombstone
With the remorseful words etched into it
When you speak, I hear a euology
Filled with regrets that scar deeply
When you breathe, no oxygen is inhaled
You have repented yourself of life
Calmly awaiting your death
When i hear your heartbeat,
I hear the steady ticking of a clock
Counting down to the last second
When you smile,
I see the tears that softly radiate your skin
I see the hate you so cleverly disguise
And with doing so, you suffer internally
To hide behind a fake part of you
In order to attain some sort of veneer
You go unnoticed, just as expected
But suddenly a floodlight is shown unto your misery...
And thats when the numbing wind cuts right through me
I freeze, stopping immediately
Cant breathe anymore
Suffacating in the ablazed dust
As my shadow is taken away
Ripped from my comfort zone
I'm put on dislpaly for all to scrutnize
I begin to cry the tears of a worthless child...
Copyright ©
DemonProdigy
... [
2005-09-03 00:22:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When My Shadow Is Taken Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Saturday, 3rd September 2005 @ 01:22:28 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
First of all welcome to YPDC.
This is an absolutely excellent piece of poetry which provokes the mind. You have ur reader captivated from start to finish. Although u can sense the sadness through the words.
Well done on this great write.
Hugs,
Sue, Dreamer |
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Re: When My Shadow Is Taken Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Saturday, 3rd September 2005 @ 12:55:43 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is amazing....very deep and strong....beautiful.......and a little sad....i love it. |
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Re: When My Shadow Is Taken Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by freak98976 on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 03:03:00 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Again, I am amazed with how well you write. Your camparisons of wind and freezing are wonderful. You give great visual imagery. For me atleast. I enjoy reading your work and hope you give more for the public eye to read. |
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