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Sonnet #4
Contributed by
MrWrite
on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 01:23:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Sadness welling up inside,
All prospects of hope are fading fast.
This hole in my soul is gaping wide,
A glaring reminder of my troubling past.
Sleep provides me no respite,
No shelter from the pain I feel.
I want to be free from this cursed sight,
From sorrow that feels all too real.
Imprisoned in darkness loving embrace,
No light shines from the approaching dawn.
The problems I feel, I dont wish to face.
A runaway train to hell Im on.
I'm tired of living a life I hate.
Now for the end I patiently wait.
Copyright ©
MrWrite
... [
2005-09-04 13:23:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 01:27:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well, I personally think it's good.
I can guess that people can relate to it a lot, too.
I like how it flowed and how it stuck together so well.
Good write,
Phil xx |
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 02:03:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| More than did the job of a sonnet. Good write in my mind. Chris. |
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 02:16:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well done, Mr. Write....
Good use of metaphors..
Great to see you posting...
Jenni |
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by spirit_of_dark_tears on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 03:07:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| good write hope to se more of your work i have felt the same way good write spodt~ |
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 03:22:29 PM AEST
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| I agree good job. Well put |
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 07:16:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I think this is good. This is the first poem I have read by you and i think you are very talented.
I think you have lost your dream or so your poem states due to sadness. I hope you get it back. Don't wait for death live life to the full! |
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Re: Sonnet #4
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 12:27:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is my frst time reading you work as well..
Great dicipline..a true sonnet indeed-
Trim a word here and there..and this would
be beyond a 5 for me-
Though I thouroughly enjoyed it as it is-
..very well written
B
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