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DAYS
Contributed by
bluesbaby811
on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 10:16:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The days go on
slow but steady
since you been gone
Dont think i was ready
I cry everyday
Maybe youll come back
But i know theres no way
Im trying to get on track
But again i see you
I try not to cry
Cant believe i fell so hard for a guy
Your always on my mind
Everywhere i look
Try to put you behind
feel like a fish on your hook
Im always sad
Its all your fault
keep thinking what i had
you gave me a jolt
*then one day i turn to see
an angel right there
Staring at me
geourgous brown hair
Deep brown eyes
beautiful smile
Better than all the other guys
Stare at each other for a while
then he walk up to me
Start to talk
how can it be
he erases the pain like chalk
your gone from my head
im not sad
to me your dead
dont care what we had
Copyright ©
bluesbaby811
... [
2005-09-04 22:16:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: DAYS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 07:45:22 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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i like your poem. its simple and heart felt. i especially like the line "feel like a fish on your hook" its quite clever. the optional ending is ok and i liked it up until "he erases the pain like chalk". the optional ending is quite different as i've never seen anyone write one before but it turns the poem around. it kinda shows to people- one stuck in heartbreak and the other who has moved on!
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