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late night thoughts
Contributed by
Ppaul
on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 04:29:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
Midnight comes and goes I think I cant sleep The lights to bright for my eyes Im paralyzed Its got me paralyzed blinded by the light I want to sleep I need to sleep But the lights to bright The wall must hold I am myself I am myself Im in a vice The wall must hold Squeezing Squeezing The wall must hold I am myself Reality What is reality? It bends The Shiny Smiley People are leaning out from the box arms extended holding out handfuls of the Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles tempting me to defy my eyes Im wide awake This is not a dream The wall must hold I am myself But theyre attacking my mind looking for a way in The wall must hold I am myself I resist sending out waves of my Personality to drive them back They wait on the other side of the room I close my eyes no surprise I cant break free it makes no difference your etched into the lids of my eyes Im paralyzed The Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles wait the Shiny Smiley People in the box watch The wall must hold I am my self Anger will sustain me Damn you! Ill pick you up and throw you out of the window smash you into a million pieces But I cant move my arms What window? Is that air Im breathing? I am weak I need to sleep I am paralyzed I want to get up and turn you of but you are on the other side of the room staring down at me the Eye of the Beast Where are my arms? Why cant I move my neck? Keep away from my brain you Shiny Smiley People Stay back you Shiny Black Beetles With Sabre Smiles I cant take it This supposed to cure me Im going insane The wall must hold I am myself All I can see are White Walls White Light what I wouldnt give for one good night Mary Jane Mary Jane get your pretty *** in her take this gag of I want to scream Why cant it be night someone turn out the light Mary Jane turn out the light Im scared Im running oh God Im running Youve abandoned me just like my Mother I was a fool to trust you I see that now Get the hell away from my brain you Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles stay back Im running Help! Damn you! My mind is Melting Boiling Melting I am imprisoned in the Four walls Outer space Inner space there is no difference The pressure The wall must hold but the box is Blazing Blaring Blazing Shiny Smiley people judging Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles waiting No choice give in No! No! Please God let me swallow my tongue Im paralyzed I cant take it Im breaking Why am I here Mary Jane Mary Jane White Walls White Light why cant I get one good night Sterilizing acid burning me clean It is too bright You will be clean Mother Mother You left me at home with the babysitter now my jailer Oh how I tried to get away from the ties that ounce again bind and improve my mind but the ghost from my childhood has returned Ive found the Brain Police This is Hell White Burning Blinding Searing Hell If I could just close my eyes and die This is Hell The Shiny Smiley People watch The Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles wait I cant take it Im sorry I thought that thought Im sorry I read that book Im sorry I brought that album I give up No! I am myself Yes! I dont want to be me right now You will change No! You are ours give in and the pain will stop the doubt the confusion the sadness the depression will melt away for there are warm arms attached these Smiley faces The wall! The wall I want to be loved there in my brain Mary Jane Mother I want to be loved Walls made of Sand crumble into the sea and melt away Shiny Black Beetles With The Sabre Smiles I welcome you now twist me to your designs I dont want to hurt any more I just want to be loved I just want to sleep Sleep Oblivion is peace
Copyright ©
Ppaul
... [
2005-09-09 04:29:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: late night thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 06:20:26 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Captivates the reader till about mid way, some spelling errors such as use of 'to' instead of 'too' and 'her' instead of 'here'.
"The light's too bright for my eyes"
"Mary Jane get your pretty *** in here"
Otherwise, quite interesting. |
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Re: late night thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 05:37:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Punctuation needed! And paragraphs. If you must write such a large piece, try to do something to take away the solid mass-feeling. It looks too forbidding for most people to attempt reading, I think.
But enough with critique. Keep writing.
Andrew |
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Re: late night thoughts
(User Rating: 1 )
by travisk on
Thursday, 10th November 2005 @ 06:14:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| If it wasn't that you had said that this was revised and improved, revisited in some fashion to be corrected, it would have been the best train of thought piece I had read. Guess the fact that I know it wasn't truly from genuine insanity from multiple days in, and a huge SDI rating, takes a lot away. But good writing, good writing. |
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