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Lifes Lessons I've Learnt Along The Way
Contributed by
PrincessJen
on
Monday, 12th September 2005 @ 12:39:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
Brandon,
I know I promised to be here
Waiting for you to come home.
But I've decided to go back to Maine
I can't handle being alone.
Especially not now
Where I've lost everything and everyone
I''ve ever loved and known
And those people I thought would always be there......
Well they're not
Turns out they really didn't care
Now, I'm surrounded by unwanted change
And walking amongst the dead
I'm waking up in new places to new faces
Hoping from bed to bed
And sketching cuz everyone's a fed.
Everything is different
And none of it familiar
I keep searching for this dream-
Only held back by reality
Where nothings as it seems
I guess it's really more of a feeling than a dream.
A feeling I''ve been longing
Happiness within myself, comfort and belonging.
But finally realized
What my mom always said from the start.
That I won't find it here
And to look inside my heart.
And she was right......
As she always is
I never really did find it here.
And it''s been a little over a year.
When I look back at my time here
It only reminds me of sadness and heartache
The "real world"-
Where there's little give and to much take
And you see, I''m not use to this
I grew up in a very different world
Ever seen Pleasantville???
Well, I came from a small town called Dixfield....
They're kinda the same
Where you walk down the road and people honk and wave......
A place where everyone smiles and knows your name.
It's actually a comforting memory
Knowing that a place like that still exists
I'm sorry I took it for granted.
I was young
And back then I didn't understand
Eager to be independent and on my own
Childish, when things got rough....
I packed up and ran.
And here I go-
Doing it again
I''ll be the first to admit-
I never thought I would want to go back to home
The truth is, Maine is all I''ve ever really known.
The light came on...
And I knew what I had to do
So I pointed to the stars
And with a slow and scratchy voice I declared....
Jen phone home!
It was classic....I had ET beat!
Yeah, you make think it's funny
But for me-
This was a giant leap.
And now that things are out in the open
To myself and to you I must confess.....
As long as I am here
I'' never find "real" happiness.
When I close my eyes I can only see
My beautiful, amazing ,little girl, abby
And you know what?
It just makes me smile.
And it feels real good
It''s been awhile.
And I realize that she is all I need
She''s my heart and soul
She gives me a reason to believe....
And a reason to hold on.
Remember that dream...
That feeling I've been searching for?
It''s her....It's where I belong.
And now I've compicated things by having a baby with you.
I was being selfish for staying here
Cuz, my daughter needed me too.
Now I'm caught inbetween
Two worlds that are so far apart
But this time, I''m doing something for me
I''m going to follow my heart.
I''m going home....
To my comfort zone.
And if you truely love me-
And we're meant to be.....
You'll find a phone-
You'll find me.
I've done all I can
I've tried my hardest to work things out with you.
But I can't hold on to someone
Whos heart doesn't feel the same.
The pain you left inside me...it hurts.
But I've only got myself to blame.
I should've seen it coming
And stopped it from the start.
I should of kicked you to the curb
The first time you broke my heart.
When they say love is blind-
They weren't kidding.
Your gentle ways and soft touch that attracted me....
Swept me off my feet.
And for awhile I forgot
That someone who loves you
Won't steal from you, lie to you, or cheat.
What was I thinking?
And what were you?
You shoul be ashamed of yourself
For deceiving a heart that couldn't be more true!
The sad thing is you probably don't even see it-
And maybe you never will.
But for the record...
I would of stuck by your side and been with you forever.
I always treated you right
I don't care what you or anyone thinks.
The truth is, I only left when you hit me when we would fight.
Remember....I sure do.
Infact....we never really fought.
I never said a word
Or gave an opinion...It was all you.
And no one in this world will ever really know the hell you put me through.
Yet, for some reason I still care.
I still love you with all of my heart
But at the same time
I have so much hate that I can't let go of.
I want to- I really honestly do.
But the truth is, maybe I never will be able to.....
And maybe this really is goodbye...the end.
Sometimes when you hurt someone
The scars are too deep to fully mend.
But through all of this
I learnt that no matter what you do....
Remember to yourself you must always be true
Don't settle for less
And becareful of who you give your heart to.
Copyright ©
PrincessJen
... [
2005-09-12 12:39:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lifes Lessons I've Learnt Along The Way
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Monday, 12th September 2005 @ 02:26:29 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Wonderful flow, totally captivating till the end. Very sad too. Good luck. |
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Re: Lifes Lessons I've Learnt Along The Way
(User Rating: 1 )
by mylady on
Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 07:51:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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It sad..wish you good luck in maine and a new
life .... nice poem |
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