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petroleum jelly and lemonade.
Contributed by
blackmarker
on
Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 08:27:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
I sometimes wish that
Scars, made in sadness,
Faded
When encountering times of happiness.
Lost
(lust)
Lives
(loves)
So long, guilt.
Hello, consciousness.
Being in love really suits you
Like a deck of cards;
Aces high.
Euphoria?
Paranoia.
Euphoria?
Paranoia!
Like infectious clocks.
Ticking seconds by;
Tock-tick. Tock-tick. Tock-tick
Heartbeats.
Buh-buhm. Buh-buhm.
Warm in darkness,
And oh, theres such darkness.
(Winter
makes
me
cry.)
Desiccated and withered?
Only if she makes me.
Tock-tick. Tock-tick
Crank up the iPod
Lets shuffle.
Buh-buhm. Buh buhm.
Buh
buhm?
Flat line, girl.
Youre through.
Copyright ©
blackmarker
... [
2005-09-13 20:27:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: petroleum jelly and lemonade.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 10:23:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
lol I love the title, made me numb with the jelly, great for the wound.. and the lemonade, sugarless, I puckered up some.
This title is wonderful. It fascinated me extremely well. Drew me to your write faster then the worlds fastest jet lol.
It really works because you have the aid and the ade. I love it, It is so dynamic.
That is one thing I do keep in the house, is pet. jel. It is a great band .. Aid.
And my favorite drink is Pink lemon..ade.
lol.
****So long, guilt.
Hello, consciousness. great lines. 5 more stars *****
You have a great ability to create sounds. It has very powerful imagery here, nice process making the write visible, yes. lovely... I thank you much.
I loved the clock and the heart sounds. ..
****Flat line, girl.
You’re through.
Effective ending, capturing the reader...
Tasteless as that jelly and lemonade huh lol...
Raquel Leah :D loved it .. thank you blackmarker..
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Re: petroleum jelly and lemonade.
(User Rating: 1 )
by ScarsOfSuicide on
Tuesday, 13th September 2005 @ 11:30:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| great poem. i liked when you compared love to the deck of cards. great job. i enjoyed reading it, but i must say it was the title that i like better. that's what drew me to your poem. keep up the great writing!!!! ~sweet suicide |
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Re: petroleum jelly and lemonade.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 06:28:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree, the title was a very effective way to draw readers in. The curiousity of how the two could possibly be connected. Very good, and very interesting. I loved it. |
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Re: petroleum jelly and lemonade.
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Wednesday, 14th September 2005 @ 11:50:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| The title sucked me right on in....and I am glad it did...I thought I could feel the sounds...interesting write. Very intense. Thanks for sharing. Peace to you, Laura |
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