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Broken Self
Contributed by
tdp
on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 07:57:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
How am I supposed to have Faith and Belief when my hopes and desires are always shattered?
To them, my heart is merely a shape to be stepped on, my mind a masterpiece to be toyed with, and my body a mere vessel to fondle.
In a silent family that speaks so loud, no one ever heard my cries.
Yet, they were so quick to add to my anger and resentment
quick to want to deny and forget everything.
Leaving me to fight alone and watch, watch as everything I loved disappeared. Continually watching as things I held dear slipped away and things I dismayed drew near.
Simply to satisfying their own selfish needs and ignoring my pleas
Leading me to believe I am to blame for my own hypocrisy.
Silent pleas seem to count for nothing at all.
I cant seem to understand what I did wrong or how to rid my memories.
I yearn for sleep, the only time when things are at peace and wish I could remember the days of innocence, but can't.
I envy the life of children and wish those days were still upon us.
Don't know who to look to or who to blame for stealing time from me.
All these games are causing the pain.
I cant trust the future when my instincts prove right I cant be happy when its a continuous fight.
Conspiracies brought upon by all add to my insecurities and cause me to fall.
The speck of pride is barely hanging on inside.
Several attempts to start my life a new, with a critical awareness of the damage that others can do.
Hurting me mentally and physically for their pleasure and gain and leaving me with nothing to attain.
Stripping me of my pride and dignity for a life time to come.
Sorrow now creeps uncontrollably in my sleep and wake and never seems to cease.
It lingers always and raped me of my peace.
I have been fighting this battle for years on end
Standing alone against a raging army of silent enemies who seem to have forgotten the past.
It hurts to know that no one will embrace my broken self and help me heal from years of pain.
I will have to face reality and continue on this journey where the present seems so insecure and my awaiting future so unsure.
I yearn for peace to fill my soul and need the comfort to make me whole.
I need to find an everlasting escape to make me free.
I need to find this forgiveness within me.
Although heartache often leaves a scar, being blind as some are, I need to accept my unconceivable past, and forgive those whose selfish eyes refuse to open and silent tongue refuse to speak.
Copyright ©
tdp
... [
2005-09-17 19:57:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Broken Self
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 08:24:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. This piece really touched me. I could totally relate to a good few of those lines, but I won't say which ones ; )
Another heartfelt write, nicely done, and this one had a decent flow too.
Scorp. |
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Re: Broken Self
(User Rating: 1 )
by JHONEN32629 on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 08:26:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Really, really good poem. I hope by all means that you DO NOT feel that way, life can be tough at times, but you learn from your mistakes and never give up, just keep on pushing all the bad things out of life, and bring all the good things in, never give up! |
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Re: Broken Self
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 08:46:24 PM AEST
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You know at times, all you can really depend on is yourself. You can't let others bring you down and effect you, because in the long run, really, everyone is going to hurt you, its more up to you to decide who's worth the pain, and push all other things out. If you can build up yourself esteem and confidence, you can do whatever you want, just don't punish yourself for others mistakes. You need to try to be stronger than that, even if it seems like you can't and that it's the hardest thing to do, just believe that your better than all of that, don't let things effect you. Really good write, can't wait to see more.
- Cassy |
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Re: Broken Self
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 11:23:27 PM AEST
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Very touching..... hope all is well with you..
Jenni |
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Re: Broken Self
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sahara on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 12:24:56 AM AEST
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Wow great write, it's like you were talking to me. This really touched me . . . I relate on so many levels.
Sonya |
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