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True!
Contributed by
kareless
on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 05:09:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
Ive moved 14 times, been to 14 different schools,
had 13 different rooms, broken many different rules.
Ive lived 100 different lives, died 100 different deaths.
Ive shed a million tears, taken a million shallow breaths.
Ive committed 100 different sins, done 1,000 different good deeds.
Ive taken a million steps; gone 100 different speeds.
Ive fallen 1,000 times, for 1,000 different reasons.
Ive had 20 Birthdays & passed 100 different seasons.
Ive kept 100 different secrets, told 1,000 different lies.
Ive made 1,000 different friends, made at least 1,000 different ties.
Ive made 10,000 different mistakes,
suffered 1,000 different painful aches.
Ive wished for 1,000 different things,
been stung 1,000 different stings.
Ive won 1,000 different battles, failed 1,000 different times.
Ive spoken a million different words, written 1,000 different rhymes.
Ive broken 100 promises, and made 100 true.
Now all I want is the one thing that Ive never had
Stability in my life to figure out who I am
after all that Ive been through!
Copyright ©
kareless
... [
2005-09-18 05:09:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: True!
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 10:53:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great start, at least 40 more years to go. Good poem, last three lines could do with little more work though or do away with last line, its quite obvious how much you've been through. |
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Re: True!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Sunday, 18th September 2005 @ 11:22:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| well done , enjoyed it very much |
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Re: True!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 02:12:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like this, the way it is expressed. Quite interesting, and full of feeling.
I do rather think it would be best if you used all words for the numbers, rather than digits. That might make it more wordy, true, but words I think would add to the poetry, whereas digits seem less such.
Well done, though. Keep it up.
Andrew |
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Re: True!
(User Rating: 1 )
by sarankrish on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 11:37:15 AM AEST
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I have read 1000 different poems but understood 100 out of it ...
I have seen 1000 different movies but
never understood 100 out of it ...
Now, this poem makes me to think,
what I understood and what i have not ...
~sarankrish
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