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once
Contributed by
hardrocker15198916
on
Friday, 23rd September 2005 @ 02:25:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
clamber to the darkened room
whispers in your ear
hail to its almighty doom
heaven isnt near
but god was not the one
who lived; created; flourished
respectfully as the world isgone
i soon fall and perish
though as a gentle deer
running freely upon
the winter snow beneath my hooves
a once gentle fawn
Copyright ©
hardrocker15198916
... [
2005-09-23 14:25:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: once
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Friday, 23rd September 2005 @ 03:42:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very well put together and with some nice imagery too. I especially liked the first stanza... very dark and haunting. the last line's good too
keep up the fine writing
dw |
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Re: once
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 23rd September 2005 @ 07:21:07 PM AEST
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I like the simplicity of this poem.
(I think you need a better view of God if you believe in him) |
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Re: once
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 24th September 2005 @ 02:18:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| really nice structered and flowing piece. your view is your view and dont let anyone change it. |
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