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nothing can compare
Contributed by
m_p_w777
on
Saturday, 24th September 2005 @ 10:17:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
that look in ur eyes
the touch of your lips
your hair in the wind
nothing can compare
ive traveled a llittle
ive been a few places
and all ive learned is
nothing can comare
ive been angry
and said some things
but you were always there
cuz nothing can compare
i have changed
and so have you
but always know
nothing can compare
you look puzzled now
did you get lost
let me tell you why
nothing can compare
i say this to you still
because i know its true
the time spent with you
nothing can compare
you still look lost
did i go too fast
ill tell you again
nothing can compare
in 16 years ive never known
someone like you
in 16 more i will still say
nothing can compare
you know i love you
i know you care
but tell me just once that
nothing can compare
tell me the time was special
tell me i was the "one"
i want your lips to say
nothing can compare
know this once
know this always
in my eyes
nothing can compare
Copyright ©
m_p_w777
... [
2005-09-24 22:17:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: nothing can compare
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Saturday, 24th September 2005 @ 10:49:43 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This needs a lot of work. Capitalization, punctuation, spelling, grammar, and too much repetition. When a reader knows what it coming in the next stanza, it is boring and they quit reading. I understand the point you were trying to get across, but it was too long and too repetitious. Keep working, don't give up. We all had to start somewhere and believe me, mine were not and still are not great. Happy penning.
Dove |
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Re: nothing can compare
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Sunday, 25th September 2005 @ 05:02:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree with whatever said by MorningDove. This too me conveys that "I am just too lazy to type properly". |
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