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A Lonely Dream
Contributed by
pyrochick
on
Sunday, 25th September 2005 @ 11:20:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The corners of your lips
Hold something I'll never receive
Because as much as it hurts, i know its not meant for me
It's something true and pure
Straight from the heart
Not meant to be given from the start
You take time and consideration
before giving it away
Beacuse you know once it's given, it's there to stay
I wish, I desire, I dream
To be
The one who obtains that purity
It tears me apart
Knowing that I'll never have that chance
To be totally and utterly invovled in your romance
I can think of nothing worse
Then not being yours
And the thought of it makes my heart sore
Knowing that I'll never be the one you love
Tears my heart slowly, piece by piece
And it kills me more knowing that the hurt will never cease.
Copyright ©
pyrochick
... [
2005-09-25 23:20:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Lonely Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on
Monday, 26th September 2005 @ 12:04:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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no is ever worth your tears, if you're not worth theirs. you must be at peace with yourself before there can have peace for you with any one else...
nice
thanks for sharing |
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Re: A Lonely Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th September 2005 @ 12:37:01 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A sorrowful write, full of raw emotion, and penned perfectly. I love it. I hope you find somebody to love who will love you in turn. Thanks for sharing.
Take Care
- Becca |
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Re: A Lonely Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Monday, 26th September 2005 @ 11:31:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The emotions are there, but some of the rhyming comes across forced, and some words do not rhyme at all. Rhyming is wonderful in poetry, but only when it doesn't impede your thought process, and the feelings you wish to impart upon the reader. Keep writing, and it will become more natural.
AliBi. |
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Re: A Lonely Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArsenicMyst on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 10:57:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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you write clearly
and beautifully ...
its really good
¸·:·´Arsenic
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Re: A Lonely Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by thepoetryman on
Thursday, 20th July 2006 @ 09:18:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Rhyming is fun! |
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