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Love at first sight
Contributed by
dolphy
on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 02:38:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
It was love at first sight
I knew it right then
That very first night
You wore a long flowing dress
With your hair up high
You looked the best of the best
Floating up in the sky
The day you came down
I said we were through
Ive has more than enough
Im done with you
I regret that more
With each passing day
Id erase that event
If I had my way
I doubt theres a chance
Youll take me back
The way you broke my heart
I deserve a smack
Youre my only love
This I know is true
Youre my beautiful dove
I dont want to be through
Copyright ©
dolphy
... [
2005-09-30 14:38:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Love at first sight
(User Rating: 1 )
by xofireangel27 on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 04:18:04 PM AEST
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very very good. i can relate to this in so many ways. again very good. keep up the good work.
-Kelly- |
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Re: Love at first sight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 07:53:54 PM AEST
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| This is a very good write. two things in it need to be changed on the 3rd line of the 3rd stanza has should be had and the 3rd line of the 5th stanza should read "The way I broke your heart" that is why you deserve a smack. The rest of the poem is well written. |
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Re: Love at first sight
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 10:30:19 PM AEST
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good write, i enjoyed reading it. and did she ever take you back? cause if that's what you really wanted, i hope it happened. but, good write, i liked it, keep up the good work!
~sprints |
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Re: Love at first sight
(User Rating: 1 )
by kgland on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 03:37:08 PM AEST
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| Your poem was wonderfully written. You are speaking from your heart. That is what poetry is all about. I have a similar story in a poem titlled Take My Hand and Walk With Thee, the story of a girl I wanted to get with so badly, I had to display all the romance I could squeeze from my heart. The poem was written in 1993. The good news, I won her heart with that poem, which led me to wr ite a famous prose, Gone But Not Forgotten. Keep up the good work! |
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Re: Love at first sight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Inspirational101 on
Saturday, 17th December 2005 @ 07:11:50 AM AEST
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Hey Dolphy,
This is a really good poem, i like it. Keep writing ur great!
With luv,
Inspirational101 |
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