|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
Contributed by
cutestmofo
on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:45:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
LOVE'S JUST TOO SCREWED UP
LOVE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A MESSED UP PARTY
LOVE IS JUST ANOTHER WAY TO HURT SOMEBODY
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME U BROKEN MY HEART
BUT I'VE NEVER STOP LOVIN U ALWAYS HAD FROM THE START
I JUST DON'T KNOW WAT TO DO
I WANT TO FOLLOW MY HEART BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE
I'M SEARCHIN FOR THE TRUTH BUT I CAN'T SEE IT ANYMORE
I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR SO LONG I DON'T KNO WAT I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR
I'M BROKEN I'M HURT AND U AIN'T SEEIN MY PAIN
EVEN THOUGH I WALKED THROUGH RAIN
U STILL WOULD NEVER REALLY CARE BUT I STILL LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND WAT ABOUT U
I LOVE YOU BUT I AIN'T GONNA SAY IT ANYMORE
CAUSE I DON'T SEE WAT I'M SAYIN IT FOR
YES I LOVE YOU AIN'T AFRAID TO SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD
BUT NO MATTER WAT U SAY I WON'T BELIEVE A WORD
Copyright ©
cutestmofo
... [
2005-09-30 20:45:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:58:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is worth a song quote;
"You make me want you
You make me need you
You make me tumble and fall
If I can't have you
the way i want you
then i don't want you at all
Baby I can take a lot
cause i take everything you've got
and though you kisses thrill me so
if you've found someone else
I gotta go
and that you know
That's it
I quit
I'm moving on"
There is a lot i can do to turn your poem into a song. Your 1st stanza is nearly perfect then each one falls off beat a little more. I think you wrote all this down while you were angry and hurt and it is good to write like this, I do it a lot. That is my honest opinion. Good and bad said because of it's potential I give this 5 stars. |
|
|
Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:58:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Aww.. Beautifully written. It's composed perfectly. Great write. |
|
|
Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 10:16:47 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
aww... that's a terrific write! and what's wrong with your heart? you love someone, that's NORMAL. but great write, i really enjoyed reading it.... keep up the good work!
~sprints |
|
|
Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 )
by jheng on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 09:31:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
yup, its true, the love we give to another person isnt always reciprocated, but still we love the person though they break our hearts ... |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
