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This means nothing.
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 06:45:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
From the beginning it was overrated.
A bridge away, a man swigs whiskey and spittle from an empty bottle.
One bridge up, another man eats the filth from his nails.
This means nothing.
This is the moment of perspective.
This means nothing;
The stars are split and sag from heaven,
The stars a futile pit, raging and sullen.
This means nothing.
It is only a moment of perspective.
The wall is stained brown, spilling its soul on their shoulders.
They wait. They struggle for timelessness.
They do not succeed.
The wall is stained, giving its name to the train passing by,
giving its soul to the laughter inside.
The wall is stained. They wait.
The wall is stained, giving its soul to the laughter inside.
They wait.
This means nothing.
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2005-10-01 18:45:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This means nothing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 08:01:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You should not post 2 poems in the same post the moderators will erase one of them.
They are good writes. |
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Re: This means nothing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 09:15:56 PM AEST
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Excellent poems! And as far as I know, posting two together will not merit removal. Why should it?
The first I think was exceptional. The description was powerful, and the varied near-repetition of the lines
This means nothing.
This is the moment of perspective. brought home the thought through each of the images.
The second was refreshing and eloquent. I find your words tend to be refreshing, illuminating, in the way they are put together, and I enjoy them.
These poems are rather unconnected, but they have the same 'feel', both being observational and feeling-oriented. I like the first especially - it could stand alone, most assuredly.
Slàn.
Andrew |
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Re: This means nothing.
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 10:26:42 PM AEST
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wow, great writes! i liked them both, but if i had to play favorites, i like the 2nd one a little better. but they were both great and were well written, good job, keep up the good work!!
~sprints |
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