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Time and Space(s)
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Sunday, 2nd October 2005 @ 11:42:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
It is still early enough,
I tell myself
But the day, this day,
[Today]
Refuses to listen.
Time collapses under the weight
Of circumstance and introspection,
- Imploding -
In a kaleidoscope of color,
Bearing down upon me
Like storm clouds
Thick with rain.
Ive no choice but to make myself
Small, to squeeze myself into the
- Vacuous -
Little spaces between the words,
Tucking myself in
Between the unimaginatively
Simple black font.
It is still early enough
Some will say
But October has come
[Again]
And I cannot bear it.
My tiny, little spaces,
These rivulets for the rain,
Will be the only thing
Keeping me
- Moderately -
Sane.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-10-02 23:42:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 06:12:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice. |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 10:13:20 AM AEST
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I thought one word comments were being rejected by the moderators! It must be so frustrating for you to read ersatz remarks when you put serious thought and consideration into those you make yourself.
Okay, my little 'hrumph' aside, I share your sentiments about the many denials and delays that inevitably wear thin in the face of what the poet Ben Jonson called 'the old bald cheater'. Procastination, the thief of time, is one of my embedded traits as well (2 years without lodging a tax return - where will it end?). And I should be writing an ad for a housemate instead of avoiding tasks by immersing myself in this site. Oh well, its past midnight anyway....
Youv'e adopted some very interesting structures in your poems - this one, smoothly flitting back and forth between self -talk and discourse with the reader. It draws me back to school days pouring over Sylvia Plath and T'S Eliot. If there is a poetry term for it I don't know it (shame, shame).
And the imagery is absolutely wonderful, although I think you are taking the 'burying myself in my work' as the ultimate avoidance a little too literally.
Spike |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 04:27:56 PM AEST
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A most interesting write snemmy! I love how your imagination works.
I'm not sure I understand the full scope of this yet, (must read it more and
besides, my head is still fuzzy from a nasty cold bug I seem to have
acquired. . . .) Your poetry always moves me to that pensive place.
(Now if I could just extract an intelligent, cohesive thought. . . . . . .)
Ahem! In any case, sweetie, I love the content and the creativity
of the whole thing! I do so love that last stanza and the italics
add some element as well. Like it's spoken softer than the rest of it.
Great job chickie! (as always...)
*hugs*
~Breezy |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 12:11:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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WOW..Man..
I can forever relate to this..
Procrastination in itself is an art..
and I am the master..trust me on this.. lol
Very idealistic..and poetic as well..
5 from me.
B
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 09:48:38 PM AEST
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| lol, I got a kick out of the title, then I got an even greater kick out of the author's note, and then of course was the actual piece. Such a nice style to it, and you picked your words and arranged them so nicely, which just captures the general theme of it all. I don't think I've ever seen anybody use brackets and those dash thingies (until I remember the name that will be their temporary name :P) in the way you did, and the sense of continuity from beginning to end and the alternative verses were also a sight to see. I think my favourite line in the entire thing would be the "it is still early enough" one, as it is used to such a strong effect. Long story short, lol, it was a great poem that I enjoyed. |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 04:53:29 PM AEST
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The time had come...summer was ending
butterflies no longer dancing
in the grassy roadside
Corn stalks leaning into one another
awaiting only the sickle's relief
your will cupped as water
too long in my clenched palm
You brought back a flood of memories with this one, Snem.
I can relate.
Stitch 8) |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 11:57:50 AM AEST
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| I loved the format and the theme,,,over all I really enjoyed reading it, so I thank you,,, |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 06:29:23 AM AEST
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What a lovely poem it really is written so clever I think it really is too good for ME to read! *smiles* But thankyou for showing US your talent.
coni |
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th April 2006 @ 10:00:24 AM AEST
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Heeheehee year end wig out
After that, I'm not quite sure I understand all of it but I certainly do like the imagery in "In a kaleidoscope of color,
Bearing down upon me
Like storm clouds
Thick with rain.".
In any case, I don't have to fully understand something to thoroughly enjoy it.
Thank you ever so much.
Timber
(who loves ambiguity and moderate saneness) ;-}
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Re: Time and Space(s)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 11th January 2009 @ 04:47:08 PM AEST
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I'm baaaaaack. :D Damn it all, where is the one that you did all in Haikus? For that matter where are you???!!! :-( Anyway, in my serach I just had to stop and say something. I mean, like, it's "Keeping me
- Moderately -
Sane."
*hugs* to my favorite philosopher
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