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Alone Together
Contributed by
expired_promises
on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 10:34:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Alone
Together
For the first time
The movie is in, I press play
Switch off the light
And guess the way back
To my seat
He is on the other couch
Says nothing
I glance over
But soon lose myself in
Donnie Darkos world
When it ends
We talk about the movie
For a bit
Run out of things to say
Quiet and dark
Night without the crickets
He looks at me
Then his feet
Then around the room
Nothing
He shifts position
His eyes question me
he begins to tell me about
Getting his kite stuck in the power-lines
when he was seven
And getting lost, crying, while hiking
when he was ten
And getting his ears pierced
When he was 13
He moves to the end of the couch
I move
To the floor
Right in front of him
Looking up to listen
He stops
I smile
Quiet again
But comfortable
My foot brushes the hem of his jeans
I feel his eyes on me
Despite the darkness
He opens his mouth
The words almost jump
Off his tongue
But his lips close again
They are trapped
His lips part one more time
The words take no time
Squeezing and pushing
Coming out in a tumble
He says it is my turn to tell a story
He wants to hear a story
He wants to hear my story
Copyright ©
expired_promises
... [
2005-10-03 22:34:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Alone Together
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 10:57:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Lovely images here...
Jenni |
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Re: Alone Together
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nate on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 11:54:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is honestly one of the best poems i have ever read in my life thank you for the kick in the imagination section |
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Re: Alone Together
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 10:07:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I liked this. You presented the importance of this somewhat short period of time, and it was noticable how much meaning it held for you. It might have been the fact that I can relate, you were descriptive, or you ended on a strong note, but nevertheless, something stands out about this poem for me. Well done. |
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Re: Alone Together
(User Rating: 1 )
by sally-heart-jack on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 05:28:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree with the other person, this honestly is one of the greatest ones I've read on here, it's really sweet.
The end left me asking for more, like I wanted to know what happened, and what you said.
It's so imagerial that I really got lost in it, two kids who like each other watching a movie, it's cute.
^^ You did good! |
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