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Double Edged
Contributed by
chibimiroku
on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 01:54:10 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Quick as lightening
The mongoose strikes;
Sharp teeth flashing
Bury themselves in a neck.
Quick as lightening
The cobra strikes;
Sharp fangs gleaming
Sheathe themselves in warmth.
In an instant
A duel commences
Two combatants
Fight to live
Or die.
Each entangled
With the other;
A rolling ball
Of fur and scale.
Teeth are biting
The mongoose clamps; holds strong.
Poison is flowing
The cobra bites; but cant hold long.
Teeth are burrowing
Through scale and flesh; digging.
Yet venom is also coursing
Through veins and muscle; dissolving.
The muscles of the mongoose weaken
Its grip goes loose and slack.
But even though dying, the mongoose stays;
Its teeth pierced through the cobras back.
The cobra stirs; tries to move
But shudders and falls, eyes glazing over.
An aimed fang, gone askew
Pierced the cobras heart.
In instants the fight started
In minutes the fight ended.
Both have won;
Both have lost;
Both are dead.
Copyright ©
chibimiroku
... [
2005-10-08 01:54:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Double Edged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 02:08:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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oooooooooo i love this chilling .
awsome |
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Re: Double Edged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 02:09:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow, now that was really cool! ! ! Loved it.
Great imagery.
Those last five lines really top it off very well:
"In instants the fight started
In minutes the fight ended.
Both have won;
Both have lost;
Both are dead."
Yowza! Keep it up and thank you for sharing.
Tim
:-)
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Re: Double Edged
(User Rating: 1 )
by hopefades on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 02:24:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very good write.....keep it up
trina |
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Re: Double Edged
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 03:58:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Good write, keep up the good work. |
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Re: Double Edged
(User Rating: 1 )
by jigsma on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 02:40:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Woa, totally wicked! I like!! |
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Re: Double Edged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 02:51:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I really like ur style of writing. This poem is a chilling hair raiser. Keep up the brilliant work.
I shall read some more great writes from u.
*hugs*
Sue |
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