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Algo Mas, Antonio
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 04:33:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
poets
|
~ Maria ~
She was so much more and somehow less
Than a means of filling the emptiness
I have plucked her from the grave,
And breathed life into her as you did
because you showed me how
And now
She is wanting - again
like then.
(Was it really Maria Jose that you buried that day?)
The words set down, her fate then sealed
But whose secret was it that she revealed?
Her wanton lust, her desperate need
Bound up, buried, yet --- somehow freed.
(Oh! Maria Fernanda Jose has something to say.)
Still so hopelessly feeble, unable to stand
The mirror you gave her clasped in her hand
Pathetic, they say, though I know theyre wrong
She wants to speak but --- her words... are gone.
(Maria Fernanda Christina Jose will die again today.)
She'll wait, stifled once more in her shallow grave
Ill pray, as you did, that she might be saved
By someone blessed with the emotional wealth
To look in that mirror and--- see themself.
Because
Maria Fernanda Christina Todos Jose
simply cannot exist
until that day.
[Por favor, va depressa.]
Authors note: This, I believe, is the first time I that have embedded a proper name in a write. It is truly not my preference to do so. I have made an exception, clearly, for Maria and, by title, Antonio because she was extraordinary in her own (albeit nonexistent) way and I think he knew as much. When she picked up the pen all those decades ago, she named her love (Antonio) and so I had to name her. I hesitated only in taking a bit of poetic liberty as I did here but I imagined that if anyone could understand my need for doing so it would be her.
(And perhaps all of this only makes sense to myself)
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-10-08 16:33:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 06:21:58 PM AEST
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Not sure how....to comment.... on this awsome write....I re read it and got more out of it each time...like a novel or a movie or somethin'....can imagine the scenes....oh you can write this so well...
*will check later to see what everyone else here comments...*
coni |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 11:52:23 PM AEST
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| I would also like to hear what others have to say about this write, as I myself am afraid to say what I think it might mean, for fear of pointing out my obvious idiocy. That photo was quite chilling, and I was stuck on it for a while before I actually got to reading the piece, and I think it set the tone for the whole thing. Not getting into the exact subject matter for the above reasons, I will point out the strength with which you wrote this piece, with rhymes coming at opportune times in the it, with steady progression throughout, adding more and more to the story. It was well written and worth reading, with an ending that only seems natural. |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 03:31:03 AM AEST
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Snemmy, holy crow!!!!! I won't pretend I fully grasp the meaning behind this, but I know a first rate poem when I read one!
From beginning to spectacular ending, this is flawless, and flowed with professional ease. This reads like something that should be published!!
She'll wait, stifled once more in her shallow grave
I'll pray, as you did, that she might be saved
By someone blessed with the emotional wealth
To look in that mirror and--- see... themself.
Love it, love it! Excellent job!!
Scorp.
(In awe) |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 12:59:12 AM AEST
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Wow! Uh...what Scorp said. :-)
Thank you for sharing.
Tim |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 01:19:56 AM AEST
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Captivating presentation..perhaps all of this only makes sense to the individual self..
but it is impressive and dramatic. ..venkat |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 02:30:52 AM AEST
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Well... this is, wonderful.
Andrew
(who can't say much more just now, but simply had to say that) |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 10:28:24 PM AEST
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| I think this is good, though i have no idea who she is. The poem is well written. |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 08:06:46 PM AEST
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hmm, I must say Snemmy, this write is really odd, yet very good in the same way, I don't know why but it seemed as a reminder that life will come and go...awesomely written
~Clark |
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Re: Algo Mas, Antonio
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Sunday, 18th February 2007 @ 12:01:15 AM AEST
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This is brilliant piece of art as I have read the second part first drawing me in to be completely enthralled.
Bravo
Peace
Yangdantien |
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