|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
People
Contributed by
zalzool
on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 10:13:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
People fade and people change
People even forget about that range
Even though you think all this is strange
It has nothing to do with all my rage
People will never understand where their place
People would never forget about that chase
And then they finally learn how to embrace
People change for the good
People change for the bad
I personally think its all just sad
People hurt
People lie
People even make others cry
You dont have to believe a word I say
But for now this is all just on delay
People sit down at night and start to prey
They just dont know life is just one long bad day
People deserve to have all that love
Even though its just from that one person high above
People deserve to have that one last chance
Even though its just a glance
But some people dont even deserve that glance
Not even that small, tiny chance
People are brave
Some crave
And some save
Some people dont care
They dont even know that word fare
But what can we do its all just there
I know its so hard to even bare
Thats why Ill give you some advice
Some people need to be forgotten
It will be hard
It will seem dark
Think that they left you without a spark
Theres nothing more that can be done
Even though at the beginning it seemed like fun
But it ends up seeming like they fired a gun
I just have to say it now
Im done.
Copyright ©
zalzool
... [
2005-10-08 22:13:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: People
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEBE on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 10:18:11 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very nice job, it flowed greatly...
Welcome to YPDC
GODBLESS
BEBE |
|
|
Re: People
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 12:09:40 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Nice post for your first one, with good ideas and everything. A couple of spelling errors though, if anything you might want to take advantage of the spell checking that the moderators do upon request, just another perk of ypdc : )
Hope you enjoy your stay here! Welcome to YPDC! |
|
|
Re: People
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dark_and_Cold on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 01:15:11 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| People write, but they don't know how to spell, people slant ryhme, but they don't do it very well. :) |
|
|
Re: People
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 05:28:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I definitely like the thought process that led to this write. There's some truths in your words for sure. I did notice a couple spelling errors that you may have overlooked. 'Prey'---prey, 'Fare'---fair. I (at least think) you meant the latter on both counts. My apologies if I'm wrong. Also, I think you maybe went a little too extra with the rhymes. I personally tend to find rhyming 3 or more lines together (in a row), makes it appear 'forced'.At the very least, when it's done repeatedly throughout a poem. I think you're on the right track though, and if you keep at it, you'll develop a more solid rhyme scheme.
I hope you find this helpful.
Welcome to YPDC : )
Scorp. |
|
|
Re: People
(User Rating: 1 )
by Without_Hope on
Wednesday, 30th November 2005 @ 02:26:33 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I'm not sure I agree with your poem, but I like the structure too it, and the words are verry well written. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
