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Remember The Sun
Contributed by
bohemian_with_a_pen
on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 03:04:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
In the dying moments of the day
While the sun was killed with the moons rays
The sky fell down in slabs 'round me
And the wind caved in on its hands and knees
My heart howled for what we were
And the stars appeared like a rabid cur
My last waking moment was filled with dread
I'm scared i made you up inside my head
I've given up my sanity to still talk to you
But its not enough to get me through
Conversations with a ghost of the past
Echoes of your voice wont help me last
I'm drowning in a memory and i can't gasp for air
Reduced to crying on the floor and surviving on a prayer
The darkness is something i can't always outrun
So all i can do for now is: Remember The Sun.
Copyright ©
bohemian_with_a_pen
... [
2005-10-12 03:04:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 05:32:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very touching write.
Hang tuff.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 10:49:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very nice work...i thought there was a lot of great
and haunting imagery in all of it. As well, i really
like the like the last line...
Remember the Sun.
Great, keep up the excellent writing |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 02:32:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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descriptive and powerful. it moved forward with feeling. shook me inside. you brought it together like it was a peice destined to be this way, preconceived. you unfolded these words beautifully. i applaud you.
i picked up the most intensity-personally- when you said "surviving on a prayer" that in itself is such a gripping image and concept. the way it fits together with the rest of the peice is what makes this peice immaculate.
~incomplete and empty~weepingprophet |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 04:50:58 AM AEST
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I very much liked it. You've done well.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kazzy1231 on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 06:05:08 AM AEST
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| Love the last line. |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by True-to-the-Heart on
Friday, 11th November 2005 @ 06:59:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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so painfully beautiful..
remember the sun my darling. |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by guiltycircles on
Wednesday, 30th November 2005 @ 01:02:12 AM AEST
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| these words stab at my heart with the loss and pain you feel |
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Re: Remember The Sun
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th January 2006 @ 06:38:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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'The sky fell down in slabs 'round me
And the wind caved in on its hands and knees'
Great imagery,atmospheric,powerful writing. |
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