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Rollercoaster
Contributed by
lanabear
on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 05:56:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
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Rollercoaster
You once told me this has all been one crazy rollercoaster ride But that at some point the tracks have to stop And you crash We crashed We are both lying amid the wreckage of everything we had Of everything we wanted We are not hurt No visible cuts or broken bones Wait At the back of my tongue I start to taste metallic It spreads slowly and invades my entire mouth Blood is trickling from my throat Internal bleeding Not from a vein, from the heart itself My heart beat is irregular It must have broken on the impact of our fall from happiness I try to swallow it I dont choke, but I cant breathe properly either Soon I cant breathe at all My vision starts to blur The world around me; your body laying next to mine Turns crimson Slowly My eyes fill with blood Soon they spill over Drops which for all the world sees as my lifes elixir Feels like tears But they glide down the side of my nose Pool at my nostrils I can taste I can see I can feel And now I can smell it I still dont breathe Am I dead? Whos to say that when we stop breathing forever we are dead? This, right now feels like death Maybe they have it wrong Maybe life is death And death is our freedom from living I wish I could breathe
Copyright ©
lanabear
... [
2005-10-13 17:56:26] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 ) by jheng on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 05:59:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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it is a lovely poem. its nice remembering old times |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 ) by absolutspin on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 06:06:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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really good.... |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 06:16:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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That's an interesting concept. I like the originality in this poem. |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 ) by Minus_Blindfold on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 06:36:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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yes...i understand everything. Personally, i like to read really deep poems but I like this one for some reason. Keep it up! |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 ) by Dark_and_Cold on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 08:28:30 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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When I started reading this, I thought it was going to be another generic "love is a rollercoaster ride" poem...but it was quite different. Nicely done :)
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 ) by Sae on
Friday, 14th October 2005 @ 02:03:13 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, very good. Not much more to say, I just really like how you wrote this! |
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